Kelsey Grammer credited as playing...
Dr. Frasier Crane
- Frank: Were you giving her a back rub?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Uh, was I? Uh yes, I suppose I was.
- Frank: Would you mind doing me?
- Charlotte: How do you feel about dating someone a little taller than you?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: How much taller?
- Charlotte: I don't know exactly, but I did have to turn off the ceiling fan.
- Georges: Your flowers as requested, monsieur.
- [noticing Frank]
- Georges: I'm sorry, I thought you were to be deux.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, well now we are trois. Thank you, Georges, could you bring us another glass, please.
- Georges: [knowingly] Yes, I understand, monsieur. It is most sophisticated of you.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Charlotte, hi. You remember my brother Niles.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Yes, Charlotte, how are you?
- Charlotte: Oh, hello. Well, frustrated. Been selling this guy all over town, but no one's buying.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Well, perhaps if you threw in a toaster.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: [looking through Charlotte's bag] That's interesting. An anthology of Irish plays. Perfect!
- Dr. Niles Crane: What do you know about Irish plays?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Nothing. But not for long. There's one area where no man has ever bested me, Niles: homework!
- Roz Doyle: Oh, hi. I was just shopping around the corner, thought I'd stop by.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, gosh, well unfortunately I have a date.
- Roz Doyle: That's okay, I have one myself. With Steve.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh, yes, your convict friend. Do you think that's wise?
- Roz Doyle: The man made one mistake. Besides, I don't know any guy who's not a little fascinated by fire.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I am meeting Charlotte for lunch and I'm planning my strategy on how to win her over.
- Dr. Niles Crane: I thought you said she has a boyfriend, this environmentalist fellow.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, Frank.
- Dr. Niles Crane: So, what's your plan to get around him?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: I'm merely going to present myself as the anti-Frank.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Ah. So you're going to be not rugged and not handsome. Interesting.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: No.
- Dr. Niles Crane: You're also going to be not passionate and not committed.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Very funny.
- Dr. Niles Crane: Maybe she'd like you if you were not interesting and not informed.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Frank injured himself on our hike, so I've got Charlotte all to myself this evening. I'm not going to waste this opportunity. I'm going to make her a romantic dinner and then tell her how I feel about her.
- Martin Crane: Wow, really?
- Dr. Niles Crane: Are you sure she's ready for that?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, I don't know, but I can't stand this ridiculous threesome anymore. You know, the worst part is how completely unthreatening Frank finds me. As if I'm some sort of a harem eunuch.
- Daphne Moon: How'd he hurt himself, anyway?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Well, he strained his back carrying me over a brook.