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Patti LuPone in Frasier (1993)

John Mahoney: Martin Crane

Beware of Greeks

Frasier

John Mahoney credited as playing...

Martin Crane

Quotes6

  • Daphne Moon: How much longer do we have stay?
  • Martin Crane: What are you in such a snit about?
  • Daphne Moon: This lot. Thanks to your sister-in-law, they're all sniggering about me being your "physical therapist."
  • Martin Crane: Oh, don't let it bother you. She's always been a pain.
  • Daphne Moon: You're telling me. Dried-up old grape leaf!
  • Martin Crane: Yeah, and she's one to talk about reputations, too. Between you and me, before she married my brother, she was easier to make than a peanut butter sandwich.
  • Dr. Niles Crane: It's a moot point. We're not invited, thanks to Frasier's more-than-usually inept advice.
  • Martin Crane: Can you imagine what it's like to live in the same city as your brother and not see him for five years?
  • Dr. Frasier Crane: No, but I'd like to give it a try.
  • Aunt Zora Crane: Who is this pretty young thing?
  • Martin Crane: Oh, this is Daphne Moon. She's my physical therapist.
  • Aunt Zora Crane: Oh... that's what they call it these days?
  • [slaps him playfully]
  • Aunt Zora Crane: You dirty old man!
  • [she moves off into the crowd, laughing, while Martin tries to calm Daphne]
  • Daphne Moon: I've never been so insulted...!
  • [after Martin and Daphne have dissed Zora and Walt, Ed reveals that he hid his video camera nearby, pointing at them]
  • Ed: I wanted to capture the whole family, naturally, just as they are.
  • Martin Crane: Well... we were really boring! I mean, why don't you just rewind that a few minutes and then start over?
  • Ed: Funny, Mrs. Pappas said the same thing.
  • Martin Crane: I can't believe that because of your big mouth, Zora won't even let me in her restaurant!
  • Dr. Frasier Crane: Forcing you to go elsewhere when you have one of your frequent cravings for stuffed grape leaves and zither music!
  • Martin Crane: You and your damned advice!
  • Daphne Moon: Mr. Crane, Dr. Rudnik asked me to monitor your blood pressure, and I'd like to get an accurate reading.
  • Dr. Frasier Crane: Stop pointing fingers. Why don't we try to solve this problem?
  • Martin Crane: I don't see how! She's a vindictive woman, and she's gonna keep on punishing us because of you! If you kept your big trap shut for just once in your life, my nephew would probably be a surgeon now, and I'd be going to his wedding!
  • Daphne Moon: There, now: 240 over 11. Sounds about right!

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