John Mahoney credited as playing...
Martin Crane
- Martin Crane: What do you think I was doing as a detective all those years? Analyzing clues, devising strategies, always staying one or two steps ahead of the other guy. Does that sound like any game that you know?
- [after Niles introduces his dog, clearly a canine substitute for Maris]
- Daphne Moon: Am I the only one?
- Dr. Frasier Crane, Martin Crane: No.
- Daphne Moon: Does Dr. Crane have any idea...?
- Dr. Frasier Crane, Martin Crane: No.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Oh hi, Dad. Did you see my new chess set?
- Martin Crane: Oh yeah, it's nice.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: "Nice?" Well, the inlay was made from the same Travertine marble they used at the Emperor Hadrian's palace outside Tivoli!
- Martin Crane: Really? Well, I'm gonna celebrate with a beverage brewed from the crystal-clear waters of the majestic Colorado Rockies!
- Martin Crane: Boy, I really clobbered you though, didn't I? I got almost all of your prawns.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Pawns, Dad.
- Martin Crane: I think the turning point was when I got that tower-thingy.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Yes, it's called a rook.
- Martin Crane: But the real knockout blow was when I backed your little horsey guy into the corner.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Can we call it a night, Dad?
- Martin Crane: Okay, when I cornered your knight.
- Dr. Frasier Crane: No, I mean... can we call it a night?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: Now, Dad, please, you don't have to rush. As a novice, you have the right to sit back, survey the board, take your time. I will not pressure you or hover like a vulture. Please, feel free to ask any questions you might have.
- Martin Crane: Is this a checkmate?
- Dr. Frasier Crane: ...Yes, it is.