John Mahoney credited as playing...
Martin Crane
- Martin: Yes, that was the day I came out. Lying in that alley, covered with blood, bullet in my hip and I said, "That's it. I'm gay, I like myself and I'm not living a lie anymore."
- Martin: Is she here yet?
- Frasier: No, not yet. That's her box over there, the empty one.
- Martin: Well, I'm not going to sit through a whole opera for some woman who's not even here.
- Frasier: Oh, for God's sake, Dad, give it a chance. You might actually learn to like it if you'd listen to one.
- Martin: Hey, your mother dragged to me a lot of these things when we were dating and they were all stupid. These stories make no sense whatsoever.
- Frasier: Oh, that is not true!
- Martin: Oh, all right, what's this one about?
- Frasier: Well, it's about Rigoletto, the hunchbacked jester in the court of the Duke. He has a daughter, Gilda, who's secretly living with him. But everyone thinks that she's his mistress. In this opening scene, Rigoletto mocks the Duke's enemy, who puts a curse on him.
- Martin: A cursed hunchback dating his daughter - well, nothing screwy so far!
- Frasier: He goes too far!
- Roz Doyle: Yeah, some nerve, ditching you to spend Valentine's Day with his girlfriend.
- Martin: Look, Frasier, I don't blame you for being a little jealous because he's got someone and you don't...
- Frasier: I am not jealous, Dad! I am simply appalled by his rudeness. I was looking forward to this evening. A nice drink, lovely opera, then a late supper... perhaps a beautiful bottle of wine... a delightful dessert souffle... oh, God, I need a woman.