Samm Levine credited as playing...
Neal Schweiber
- Neal Schweiber: I'm Jewish. That's no cakewalk either. Last year, I was elected school treasurer. I didn't even run!
- Sam Weir: What's non-alcoholic beer?
- Bill Haverchuck: It's just like beer, it just doesn't have that ingredient that makes you drunk.
- Neal Schweiber: ...Alcohol?
- Bill Haverchuck: Yeah.
- Neal Schweiber: Friday night, always a good night for some Sabbath.
- [Lindsay looks at him]
- Neal Schweiber: ...'cause, you know, Friday? is the the Sabbath... for the Jews.
- Sam Weir: [Bill comes up with the idea of substituting non-alcoholic beer at Lindsay's party] We're gonna have to buy a whole keg of it.
- Neal Schweiber: That's gonna be expensive.
- Sam Weir: I don't have any money.
- Neal Schweiber: I don't either.
- Bill Haverchuck: Yes you do.
- Neal Schweiber: Awww, no, no way.
- Sam Weir: Why not?
- Neal Schweiber: It's my bar mitzvah money. I'm saving it to go backpacking across Europe.
- Sam Weir: Come on. This is important.
- Neal Schweiber: Every time you guys have a problem, y'wanna dip into my bar mitzvah money. It's not like I get to have another one.
- Bill Haverchuck: Come on. For Lindsay?
- Neal Schweiber: [reluctantly] Fine.
- Bill Haverchuck: Mazel tov.
- Neal Schweiber: Oh, shut up.