Matthew Perry credited as playing...
Chandler Bing
- Rachel Green: [about Chandler being mistaken for being homosexual] When I first met you, I thought maybe, possibly, you might be.
- Chandler Bing: You did?
- Rachel Green: Yeah, but then you spent Phoebe's entire birthday party talking to my breasts, so then I figured mabye not.
- Chandler Bing: [referring to Chandler being mistaken for being homosexual] So what is it about me?
- Phoebe Buffay: I don't know. You're smart, you're funny...
- Chandler Bing: Ross is smart and funny, you ever think that about him?
- Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, right!
- Chandler Bing: What is it?
- Monica Geller: Okay, I don't know. You just... you have a quality.
- Phoebe Buffay: Yeah. Exactly.
- Chandler Bing: Oh, good, "a quality," good. I was worried you guys were going to be *vague* about this.
- Joey Tribbiani: What are you staring at?
- Chandler: Oh nothing. It's just that your overcoat sounds strangely like Brent Musburger.
- Shelly: Question, you're not dating anybody are you? Because I met somebody who'd be perfect for you.
- Chandler Bing: You see, perfect might be a problem. Had you said codependent or self-destructive...
- Shelly: Do you want a date Saturday?
- Chandler Bing: Yes, please.
- Shelly: Okay. He is cute, he's funny...
- Chandler Bing: He's a he?
- Shelly: Oh, yeah. Oh, God. Quit, Shelly. Okay, I'm just gonna go flush myself down the toilet now. Okay. Bye-bye.
- Chandler Bing: I just have to know what it is, okay? Is it my hair?
- Rachel Green: [annoyed] Yes, Chandler, that's exactly what it is. It's your hair.
- Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, you have homosexual hair.