Matthew Perry credited as playing...
Chandler Bing
- Chandler: [Rachel is opening presents on her birthday]
- [pointing out a gift]
- Chandler: OK, this one right here is from me.
- Rachel: [picks it up] OK... ah, it's light...
- [shakes it]
- Rachel: ... it rattles... it's...
- [opens it]
- Rachel: Travel Scrabble! Oooohhh, thank you!
- [she gives it back to him]
- Rachel: [Chandler looks dejected. Rachel picks up another gift] This one's from Joey... feels like a book. Thinks it's a book... feels like a book. And...
- [opens it]
- Rachel: ... it's a book!
- Phoebe: Oh, it's Dr. Seuss!
- Joey: [to Rachel] That book got me through some tough times.
- Melanie: There is a little child inside this man!
- Chandler: Yes, the doctors say if they remove it, he'll die.
- Rachel: [Rachel picks up the next gift] Who's this from?
- Chandler: Oh, that's Ross's.
- Rachel: Oh...
- [opens it]
- Rachel: ...
- [sees it is a pin]
- Rachel: Oh my God. He remembered.
- Phoebe: Remembered what?
- Rachel: It was like months ago. We were walking by this antique store, and I saw this pin in the window, and I told him it was just like one my grandmother had when I was a little girl. Oh! I can't believe he remembered!
- Chandler: Well, sure, but can you play it on a plane?
- [pats his Travel Scrabble game]
- Phoebe: Oh, it's so pretty. This must have cost him a fortune.
- Monica, Rachel: I can't believe he did this.
- Chandler: Come on, Ross? Remember back in college, when he fell in love with Carol and bought her that ridiculously expensive crystal duck?
- Rachel: [Everyone looks at him. He realizes he just spilled the beans about Ross's crush on Rachel] What did you just say?
- Chandler: [panicked] ahem... um... Crystal duck.
- Rachel: No, no, no... the, um, the... 'love' part?
- Chandler: [stuttering incoherently] F-hah... flennin...
- Rachel: Oh... my God.
- Chandler: [rubbing his temples] Oh, no no no no no...
- Joey: [pats Chandler on the leg] That's good, just keep rubbing your head. That'll turn back time.
- Joey: Well, the tough thing is she really wants to have sex with me.
- Chandler: Crazy bitch...
- Joey: Ya, well, i still got a week left to go in the program and according to the rules if i wanna get the money i am not allowed to conduct any personal experiments, if you know what i mean.
- Monica: Joey! We always know what you mean.