Matthew Perry credited as playing...
Chandler Bing
- [Erica has just given birth to a baby boy]
- Monica: Oh my God, he's beautiful. Thank you so much.
- Erica: I'm really happy for you guys.
- Chandler: How do you feel?
- Erica: I'm tired.
- The Doctor: Well, you don't have that much time to relax. The other one will be along in a minute.
- [Chandler stares at the doctor, completely shocked. Monica just freezes and turns around slowly]
- Monica: I... I'm sorry, who should be along in a what now?
- The Doctor: The next baby should be along in a minute.
- Monica: We only ordered one!
- The Doctor: You know it's twins, right?
- Chandler: Oh, yeah! These are the faces of two people in the know!
- [Chandler pulls Monica aside when they are told that they are adopting twins]
- Chandler: Whatta we do?
- Monica: What do you mean 'what do we do'?
- Chandler: [franctically] Twins... Twins...
- Monica: Chandler, you're panicking!
- Chandler: Uh huh, join me, won't you? Okay what do you say we keep one and then just like have an option on the other one?
- Monica: We can't split them up!
- Chandler: Why not? We could give each of them half a medallion, and then years later they'll find each other... and be reunited. I mean that's a great day for everybody.
- Ross Geller: [Looking around the empty apartment] Wow.
- Rachel Green: I know, it seems smaller somehow.
- Joey: [Confused] Has it always been purple?
- Chandler: [to the twin babies] Look around you guys. This was your first home, and it was a happy place, filled with love and laughter; but more important, because of rent control it was a friggin' steal!
- Joey: [Chick Jr and Duck Jr are trapped in the Foosball table] Does that mean we're gonna have to bust it open?
- Chandler: I don't know. Maybe.
- Joey: Oh my God!
- Chandler: I know, it's the Foosball table.
- Joey: All right, you know what? We don't have a choice. It's like what I'd have said in that Sci-Fi movie if I'd gotten the part: "Those are our men in there, and we have to get 'em out. Even if I have to sacrifice the most important thing in my life... my time machine."
- Joey Tribbiani: It's like I would have said in that science fiction movie if I'd have gotten the part "our men are in there and we have to get them out, even if I have to sacrifice my most precious thing in the world, my time machine"
- Chandler: Did that movie ever get made?
- Joey Tribbiani: It did not.
- Monica: [Erica In labor] Just a little bit more, honey.
- Erica: Help me, ah, this hurts!
- Chandler: Really? That bad?
- Erica: Uh-huh. I think it's time to kick you in the nuts to see which is worse.
- The Doctor: The baby's head is crowning.
- Monica: Oh my god! This is the most beautiful top of the head I have ever seen! Chandler, you have to see this!
- Chandler: I'm ok.
- Monica: Chandler, you don't want to miss this, this is the birth of your child it's the "miracle of life".
- Chandler: All right!
- [Surprised]
- Chandler: Wow that is one disgusting miracle.
- The Doctor: Start pushing, here we go.
- [Erica screams]
- The Doctor: Here come the shoulders.
- Monica: [baby is born] It's a boy!
- Erica: Is he ok?
- The Doctor: He's just fine.
- Monica: Aww, you did it!
- Chandler: [Squeaky voice] It's a baby, a beautiful little baby. And some other stuff I'm gonna pretend I don't see.
- The Doctor: [to Monica and Chandler] Would you like to cut the umbilical cord?
- Chandler: Well, that's spongy!
- Monica: Hey, handsome! I'm going to love you so much that no woman is ever going to be good enough for you.
- Monica: [Monica and Chandler each holding one of the twin babies] Do you think they recognize each from in there?
- Chandler: Maybe, unless their like two people who lived in apartments next to each other for years and one day were pushed through a vagina and then they meet.
- Erica: [to Monica and Chandler] I'm really glad I picked you guys you're going to make great parents, even Chandler.
- Monica: [Monica enters carrying one of the babies] Hey.
- Chandler: [Chandler enters carrying the other baby] Hey.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Awkward question: the hospital knows you took two right?
- Phoebe Buffay-Hannigan: What kind of twins are they?
- Monica: [Referring to the baby she's carrying] This one's a boy the baby Chandler's carrying is a girl.
- Chandler: Her name is Erica.
- Joey Tribbiani: That pregnant girl's name is Erica.
- Chandler: It's a shame the two of you didn't get to spend more together.
- Monica: [to Ross] We named the boy "Jack" after dad.
- Dr. Ross Geller: His going to be so happy.