Matt LeBlanc credited as playing...
Joey Tribbiani
- Joey Tribbiani: My agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives.
- Phoebe Buffay: We have to celebrate. You know what we should do, we should do like a soap opera theme.
- Chandler: Hey yeah, we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.
- Rachel Green: [the gang are walking along outside in the early hours of the morning] Joey, would you just slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of paper at 1 o'clock in the morning.
- Joey Tribbiani: I'm excited, I've never gotten reviewed before!
- Monica Geller: You were so amazing as the king, I was really impressed, I was!
- [They each grab a paper]
- Phoebe Buffay: Although, next time, you might want to consider wearing underwear, because when you sat on the throne, we could kind of see your, royal subjects.
- Joey Tribbiani: [Looking through paper] Oh, here it is, here it is! 'The only thing worse than the mindless adolescent direction was Joey Tribbiani's portrayal of the king.'
- [Joey looks crestfallen]
- Chandler: Look, that is one guys opinion, Phoebe read yours.
- Phoebe Buffay: [Reads] 'The only thing worse than the mindless... '
- Chandler: [Interrupts] Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
- Ross: I don't want to!
- Joey Tribbiani: [Talking to the gang after reading several terrible reviews of his play] When I was little, I wanted to be a veterinarian. But then I found out you had to put your hands in the cows and stuff!
- Ross: [Talking about Fun Bobby after realising he's drunk 4 bottles of wine in one evening] Now that I think about it, I don't think I've ever seen Fun Bobby without a, without a drink in his hand.
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh, yeah, and notice how he always starts his stories with 'I was so wasted.' Or 'we were so bombed' or 'so I wake up and I'm in this dumpster in Connecticut!'
- Joey Tribbiani: Monica, have you ever been with him when he wasn't drinking?
- Monica Geller: Well, we just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink. I mean, how do you go to a wine tasting without having a drink? Or to a club? Or to the... zoo?