Matthew Perry credited as playing...
Chandler Bing
- Joey Tribbiani: My agent just called me with an audition for Days of Our Lives.
- Phoebe Buffay: We have to celebrate. You know what we should do, we should do like a soap opera theme.
- Chandler: Hey yeah, we could all sleep together and then one of us could get amnesia.
- Chandler: The way I see it is you get a great job and you get to have sex. You know, i mean, throw in a tree and a fat guy and you've got Christmas.
- Chandler: Would you sleep with somebody to get a great job?
- Rachel Green: I don't know. Who would I have to sleep with?
- Chandler: Me.
- Rachel Green: Why would I have to sleep with you?
- Chandler: It's my game. You want the job or not?
- Rachel Green: [the gang are walking along outside in the early hours of the morning] Joey, would you just slow down? They're not gonna be sold out of paper at 1 o'clock in the morning.
- Joey Tribbiani: I'm excited, I've never gotten reviewed before!
- Monica Geller: You were so amazing as the king, I was really impressed, I was!
- [They each grab a paper]
- Phoebe Buffay: Although, next time, you might want to consider wearing underwear, because when you sat on the throne, we could kind of see your, royal subjects.
- Joey Tribbiani: [Looking through paper] Oh, here it is, here it is! 'The only thing worse than the mindless adolescent direction was Joey Tribbiani's portrayal of the king.'
- [Joey looks crestfallen]
- Chandler: Look, that is one guys opinion, Phoebe read yours.
- Phoebe Buffay: [Reads] 'The only thing worse than the mindless... '
- Chandler: [Interrupts] Does anyone have one from a different paper? Ross, read yours.
- Ross: I don't want to!
- Chandler: Guess who's back in show business?
- Phoebe Buffay: Ooh, ooh, Lorne Green?
- Chandler: No, you no why Phoebs? Cos he's dead.
- Phoebe Buffay: Oh, no!
- Chandler: OK, I guess this is gonna seem kind of bittersweet now, but Joey, that's who!