David Schwimmer credited as playing...
Dr. Ross Geller
- Ross: I had a dream last night where I was playing football with my kid.
- Chandler: That's nice.
- Joey Tribbiani: Nice.
- Ross: No, no, *with* him. I'm on this field and they - they hike me the baby. And I - I know I've got to do something 'cause the Tampa Bay defense is coming right at me.
- Joey Tribbiani: Tampa Bay has got a terrible team.
- Ross: Right, but... it is just me and the baby, so I'm thinking they can take us...
- [Joey makes shrugging gesture]
- Ross: and so I... uh,
- [wry chuckle]
- Ross: I just heave it downfield.
- Chandler: What? Are you crazy, that's a baby!
- Joey Tribbiani: He should take the sack?
- Ross: Anyway, suddenly I'm downfield, and I realize that I'm the one who's supposed to catch him, right? Only I know there is no way I'm going to get there in time, so I am running and I'm running... And that - that is when I woke up. See, I - I am *so* not ready to be a father.
- Chandler: Hey, you're gonna be fine.
- Ross: [sceptical] Uh-huh.
- Chandler: You're the most caring, responsible man in America!
- Joey Tribbiani: Yeah, Ross, you and the baby just need better blocking!
- Ross: [runs into hospital holding Marcel] You've got to help me. My monkey swallowed a "K"!
- Nurse: Get that animal outta here!
- Ross: No, the animal hospital is on the other side of the city! He's choking!
- Nurse: Excuse me? This hospital is for people!
- Ross: Lady, he *is* people! He has a name! Okay? He watches Jeopardy! He... he... touches himself when no one's watching!