Jessica Hecht credited as playing...
Susan Bunch
- Ross: Damn it! This is all your fault! This was supposed to be like the greatest day of my life, you know. My son is being born and... I should be in there, you know. Instead I'm stuck in a closet with you.
- Susan: The woman I love is having a baby today. I've been waiting for this just as much as you have.
- Ross: No, believe me, no one has been waiting for this just as much as I have. Okay, and you know what the funny thing is? When this thing is over, you get to go home with the baby, okay. Where does that leave me?
- Susan: You get to be the baby's father. Everyone knows who you are. And who am I? There's Fathers Day, there's Mothers Day, there's no... Lesbian Lover Day.
- Ross: [exasperated] Every day is Lesbian Lover Day.
- Ross: [Ross, Susan and Phoebe are stuck in a broom closet; Ross pounds on the door] Help! Help!
- Phoebe Buffay: [singing] They found their bodies the very next day / They found their bodies the very next day.
- Ross, Susan: [louder] Help! Help!