Matt LeBlanc credited as playing...
Joey Tribbiani
- [commenting on his family's dysfunctional situation]
- Joey Tribbiani: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my Ma, like she wanted. My Ma's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know, even though she does. And my little sister, Tina, can't see her husband anymore 'cause he's got a restraining order - which has nothing to do with anything, except, I found out today.
- Chandler Bing: Things sure have changed here on Walton's Mountain.
- Joey Tribbiani: I dont care how old you are as long as you're under my roof you only live by my rules. And that means no sleeping with your girlfriend.
- Joey Tribbiani: Hey, Ma, what're you doin' here?
- Gloria Tribbiani: I came here to give you these...
- [hands him a bag of groceries]
- Gloria Tribbiani: ...and THIS!
- [smacks him in the back of the head]
- Joey Tribbiani: You know, they're parents. At a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you gotta let them make their own mistakes.
- Monica: Just think, in a couple of years, we get to turn into them.
- Chandler Bing: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blonde chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my Mom.
- Chandler Bing: [they have to share the bed, and Joey's restless] Hey, Kicky! What are you doing?
- Joey Tribbiani: Just trying to get comfortable. I'm not used to sleeping in my underwear.
- Chandler Bing: Well, you gonna.
- Joey Tribbiani, Sr.: [Joey's Dad is trying to explain himself to his son.] Joe, your dad's in love, big time. And the worst part of it is, it's with two different women.
- Joey Tribbiani: Oh, man, please tell me one of them is Ma.
- Joey Tribbiani, Sr.: Of course, course one of them's Ma. What's the matter with you?
- Joey Tribbiani, Sr.: [after Joey discovers that his dad has an affair.] Her name's Ronni. She's a pet mortician.
- Joey Tribbiani: Sure. So how long have you been...?.
- Joey Tribbiani, Sr.: Remember when you were a little kid, I used to take you to the Navy yard and show you the big ships?
- Joey Tribbiani: [in shock] Since then?
- Joey Tribbiani, Sr.: No, it's only been six years. I just wanted to put a nice memory in your head so you'd know I wasn't always such a terrible guy.