Matthew Perry: Chandler Bing

The One with the Boobies

Chandler Bing

[first lines]
Rachel Green: [caught bare-breasted by surprise] You just barge in here, you don't knock?
[holding robe in front of her decolletage]
Chandler Bing: Wait, wait!
Rachel Green: No, you wait! This is ridiculous!
Chandler Bing: Let me just say one thing...
Rachel Green: What? What?
Chandler Bing: That's a relatively open weave and I can still see your... nippular area.
Rachel Green: Oh!
[runs off]

[commenting on his family's dysfunctional situation]
Joey Tribbiani: Yeah. He's gonna keep cheating on my Ma, like she wanted. My Ma's gonna keep pretending she doesn't know, even though she does. And my little sister, Tina, can't see her husband anymore 'cause he's got a restraining order - which has nothing to do with anything, except, I found out today.
Chandler Bing: Things sure have changed here on Walton's Mountain.

Joey Tribbiani: You know, they're parents. At a certain point, you gotta let go. Even if you know better, you gotta let them make their own mistakes.
Monica: Just think, in a couple of years, we get to turn into them.
Chandler Bing: If I turn into my parents, I'll either be an alcoholic blonde chasing after twenty-year-old boys, or... I'll end up like my Mom.

Chandler Bing: [they have to share the bed, and Joey's restless] Hey, Kicky! What are you doing?
Joey Tribbiani: Just trying to get comfortable. I'm not used to sleeping in my underwear.
Chandler Bing: Well, you gonna.

Rachel Green: [waitressing] Okay! You guys want anything else?
Chandler Bing: Oh, yes! Can I have one of those...
Rachel Green: No, I'm sorry, we're all out of those. Anybody else?
Roger: Did I - Did I say something...
Chandler Bing: Nah, she's still upset 'cause I saw her boobies.
Ross: Huh, what? What did-? What were you doing seeing her boobies?
Chandler Bing: It was an accident. It's not like I was across the street with a telescope and a box of doughnuts.
Rachel Green: Okay, okay, can we change the subject, please?
Phoebe Buffay: Yeah, hello, these are not her 'boobies', these are her breasts.
Rachel Green: Okay, Pheebs, I was hoping for more of a change.
Chandler Bing: You know, I don't know why you're so embarrassed. They were very nice boobies.
Rachel Green: Nice? They were 'nice'? I mean, that - that's it? I mean, mittens are 'nice'.

Rachel Green: [noticing Chandler staring at her chest] Why can't you stop staring at my breasts?
Chandler Bing: What?
[looks up]
Chandler Bing: What?
Rachel Green: Did you not get a good enough look the other day?
Ross: Alright, alright. We're all adults here, there's only one way to resolve this. Since you saw her boobies, I think, uh, you're gonna have to show her your pee-pee.
Chandler Bing: You know, I don't see that happening?
Rachel Green: Come on, he's right. Tit for tat.
Chandler Bing: Well, I'm not showing you my 'tat'.

Rachel Green: [ourside bathroom where she accidentally spied on Joey] You were supposed to be in there so that I could see your thing!
Chandler Bing: Sorry, my thing was in there with me.