Matthew Perry credited as playing...
Chandler Bing
- Joey Tribbiani: You know how we're always saying we need a place for the mail?
- Chandler Bing: Yeah?
- Joey Tribbiani: Well, I started building one. But then I decided to take it to the next step.
- Chandler Bing: You're building a post office?
- Chandler Bing: [To Joey] Spackle boy get up!
- Monica Geller: [To Joey] You started this!
- Chandler Bing: He started mine first.
- Phoebe Buffay: Build the unit Cinderelli, lay the tiles Cinderelli.
- Joey Tribbiani: Oh, sorry. Did I get 'ya?
- Chandler Bing: No, you didn't *get* me! It's an electric drill! You *get* me, you kill me!
- Joey Tribbiani: Calm down, do you want this unit or not?
- Chandler Bing: I do not want this unit
- Joey Tribbiani: You should've said something before, I'm not a mind reader
- Chandler Bing: [about the entertainment center being too large] Ah, good job Joe.
- Joey Tribbiani: Wow. It's big.
- Chandler Bing: Yeah, so big that it actually makes our doors look smaller.
- Joey Tribbiani: Maybe my ruler's wrong.
- Phoebe Buffay: Maybe *all* the rulers are wrong.
- Chandler Bing: [Saying his list of five celebrities he's allowed to sleep with] Cindy Crawford, Kim Bassinger, Halle Berry, Yasmine Bleeth and Jessica Rabbit.
- Rachel Green: You do know she's a cartoon?
- Chandler Bing: I thought it'd be cool to see if I could make her eyes pop out of her head.
- Dr. Ross Geller: [reading his list of 5 celebrities he's allowed to sleep with] Elizabeth Hurley.
- Chandler Bing: Very attractive, forgiving.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Susan Sarandon.
- Chandler Bing: She's too political, to do it with her, you'd probably have to donate four cans of food first.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Isabella Rosellini.
- Chandler Bing: She's too international.
- Rachel Green: So?
- Chandler Bing: So you gotta pick the odds, pick someone who will be in the country all the time.
- Rachel Green: Yeah because that's why you weren't get Isabella Rosellini, geography.
- Rachel Green: [Talking about the list of celebrities] Well, I don't know, I guess Chris O'Donell, John F. Kennedy Jr., Daniel Day Lewis, Sting and Parker Stevenson.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Spider Man?
- Rachel Green: Hardy Boy.
- Chandler Bing: Peter Parker.
- Dr. Ross Geller: Thank you!