Matthew Perry credited as playing...
Chandler Bing
- Chandler: Listen, it's kind of an emergency. Well, I guess you know that, or we'd be in the predicament room.
- Joey Tribbiani: [entering Central Perk, followed by Chandler] 95, 96, 97. See? I told you - less than a hundred steps from our place to here.
- Chandler: You got *way* too much free time.
- [first lines]
- Monica Geller: [playing game] Phoebe?
- Phoebe: Okay, okay. If I was omnipotent for a day, I'd want, uh, world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain forest. And bigger boobs!
- Ross: Oh. So you took mine! Chandler, how about you?
- Chandler: Uh, if I was omnipotent for a day, I'd make myself omnipotent forever.
- Rachel: [smirks] See? There's always one guy. "If I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes."
- Dr. Ross Geller: Oh, my God... oh... Is today the twentieth, October twentieth?
- Monica Geller: I was hoping you won't remember.
- Dr. Ross Geller: [sadly moaning:] Ohh...
- Joey Tribbiani: What's wrong with the twentieth?
- Chandler: Eleven days before Halloween, all the good costumes are gone?
- Dr. Ross Geller: Today's the day Carol and I first consummated... our physical relationship...
- [looks over at puzzled Joey]
- Dr. Ross Geller: Sex.
- [Joey nods]
- Dr. Ross Geller: You know what? I think I'm just gonna pass on the game, go home, and think about my ex-wife and her lesbian lover.
- Joey Tribbiani: [rises] To hell with hockey, let's all do that!
- Rachel: [joyously waving envelope about] Look, look, look, look, my first paycheck! Look, there's a window, and there's my name! Hi, me!
- Phoebe: I remember the day that I got my first paycheck. There was a cave-in in one of the mines, and eight people were killed.
- Monica Geller: What? You worked in a mine?
- Phoebe: I worked in a Dairy Queen. Why?
- Rachel: [opening her envelope] Now isn't this exciting? I *earned* this! I wiped tables for it, and it's totally...
- [sees the amount on the check]
- Rachel: not worth it. What's FICA? Why are they getting all my money? Chandler, look at that!
- Chandler: Oh, this is not that bad.
- Joey Tribbiani: You're fine, yeah, for a first job...
- Dr. Ross Geller: You can totally, totally live on this.
- Phoebe: Oh, yeah. Yeah!
- Dr. Ross Geller: Hey, by the way, *great* service!
- [everybody agrees and chips in with a tip for their poor destitute friend]