David Schwimmer credited as playing...
Dr. Ross Geller
- Ross: I'm gonna say this as Monica's brother. Not as your friend.
- Chandler: So now you're not my friend?
- Ross: Not now.
- Chandler: All right.
- Ross: So i couldn't be happier cause you're marrying Monica. But if someday you ever hurt her, I will hunt you down and kick your ass.
- Chandler: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
- Ross: What, what? I'm just warning you. I'll hunt you down and kick your ass.
- Chandler: Ok. So now you're my friend again?
- Ross: Yes.
- Chandler: You wouldn't believe what Monica's brother just told me...
- Rachel Green: Maybe it means "Tell Monica I'm sorry I drank that kast of the milk" or maybe "Tell Monica I'm sorry I used your tweezers to pluck my nose hair"
- [Ross and Phoebe stare at Rachel]
- Rachel Green: He does. I've seen him.
- Phoebe Buffay: Maybe he's writing to tell her he changed his name. Like "Tell Monica I'm Sorry".
- Ross: I think it means he freaked out.
- Phoebe Buffay: Don't be so negative. Isn't it possible that Sorry's in there right now.
- Ross: Chandler's missing.
- [Ross and Rachel are in Monic'a doorway. Phoebe comes up]
- Phoebe Buffay: What's going on?
- [reading the note]
- Phoebe Buffay: "Tell Monica I'm sorry"
- [Phoebe looks up at Ross, then back at the note, then back to Ross]
- Phoebe Buffay: Tell her yourself.
- Ross: [upon seeing his parents sitting by the window at the coffee house] Mom? Dad? What-what... what you guys doing here?
- Jack Geller: Well, you kids talk about this place so much, we thought we'd see what all the fuss is about.
- Judy Geller: [smiling] I certainly see what the girls like coming here.
- Ross: Why?
- Judy Geller: The sexy blonde behind the counter.
- [She waves at Gunther, who awkwardly waves back]
- Ross: [shocked] Gunther?
- Jack Geller: Your mother just added him to her list.
- Ross: What? Your-your list?
- Judy Geller: Yeah, the list that-of people we're allowed to sleep...
- Ross: Yes! No-no! I know, I know what the list is!
- Jack Geller: Come on, sit down. Have a cup of Joe.
- Ross: No, Dad , I-I can't. I'm sorry. Look, if you see Chandler, could you just tell him I'm looking for him.
- Jack Geller: And if you see Rita Moreno, let her know I'm looking for her.
- [Jack winks at Ross. Ross points at him and winks back before he exits]
- [Ross is looking for Chandler]
- Ross: Gunther, have you seen Chandler?
- Gunther: No, no, I haven't seen him.
- Ross: [desperate] Oh, damn.
- Gunther: He's getting married tomorrow, right?
- Ross: Yes, yes. Don't worry. Everything's fine.
- [Ross chuckles]
- Ross: We'll see you at the wedding.
- Gunther: [looks offended] I wasn't invited.
- Ross: Then we'll see you the day after tomorrow.