Courteney Cox credited as playing...
Monica Geller
- Monica: I saw you eat a cheeseburger!
- [Everyone gasps]
- Monica: Well, didn't you?
- Phoebe: I might have.
- Monica: I can't believe you didn't tell me.
- Phoebe: C'mon. Like you tell me everything?
- Monica: What haven't I told you?
- Phoebe: Oh I don't know. How about the fact that the underwear out on the telephone pole is yours from when you were having sex with Fun Bobby on the terrace!
- [Everyone runs to the window to look]
- Monica: Who told you that?
- [Looks at Chandler]
- Monica: You are dead meat.
- Chandler: I didn't know if was a big secret.
- Monica: Oh, it's not big. Not at all. You know, kind of the same as, I don't know, a third nipple!
- Phoebe: [Gasps] You have a third nipple?
- Chandler: [to Monica] You bitch!
- Ross: Whip it out! Whip it out!
- Chandler: No. C'mon! There's nothing to see. It's a tiny bump. It's totally useless.
- Rachel: As opposed to your other multi-functional nipples?
- Joey: I can't believe you! You told me it was a nubbin!
- Ross: Joey, what did you think a nubbin was?
- Joey: I don't know. You see something, you hear a word. I thought that was it. Let me see it again!
- Ross: Yes! Show us your nubbin!
- Chandler: [Doesn't know what to say while everyone comes at him] Joey was in a porno movie!
- [Everyone gasps. Joey is shocked Chandler would say that]
- Chandler: If I'm going down, I'm taking everybody with me.
- Rachel: [in a childish, nasal voice] Ooh, Julie's so smart, Julie's so special!
- [normal voice]
- Rachel: What, does she go put an outfit on at night and go out and fight crime?
- Monica: Look, honey, I wanted you to hook up with Ross as much as you did. But he's with her now. You're just going to have to get over it.
- Rachel: Oh! I'm gonna have to get over it! See, I didn't know that's what I have to do! I just have to get over it! Oh, I'm gonna have to write that down on my hand.
- Chandler: [about Joey's cameo in a porn movie] What's this in my pocket? It's Joey's porn video!
- Rachel: C'mon guys; let's not watch it. Porn is degrading to women and degrading to females and... help me out, Monica.
- Monica: Are you kidding? I want to see Joey!
- Chandler: [the porn video takes place in an office] *That* is the damnedest typing test I have ever seen.
- Rachel: Wow, I hope she gets the job.
- Ross: I'd say he is the one getting *the job*.