Matthew Perry credited as playing...
Chandler Bing
- [Chandler is angry because Joey attempted to save Ross instead of him]
- Chandler Bing: You dove in front of Ross! Ross!
- Joey Tribbiani: That's what this is about! Oh my God, you hate Ross!
- Chandler Bing: I do not hate Ross!
- Joey Tribbiani: Of course you do! I saved him! You're mad at me! It all adds up! You want Ross out of the picture.
- Chandler Bing: What picture?
- Joey Tribbiani: [scowls] I don't know, but I don't like what I'm hearing!
- Chandler Bing: I'm very glad that you saved Ross from the car backfire, but it could've been a bullet and you know, you didn't try to save me!
- Joey Tribbiani: Ohh, you're upset because you think I chose Ross over you! No! I... knew... you could take care of yourself. Y'know, I mean Ross, he needs help. He's not street like us!
- Chandler Bing: When it comes down to it, you would risk your life for Ross before you would for me. That's the bottom line.
- Joey Tribbiani: [embarrassed] Well, no, not exactly! Alright, look, I, I wasn't trying to save Ross. Okay? My sandwich was next to Ross. Alright? I was, I was trying to save my sandwich.
- Chandler Bing: From a bullet?
- Joey Tribbiani: I know it doesn't make much sense...
- Chandler Bing: *Much* sense?
- Joey Tribbiani: Look Chandler, it was instinct! Okay? I just went for it!
- Chandler Bing: So you risked your life, for a sandwich!
- Joey Tribbiani: I know it sounds crazy, but Chandler, this is...
- [Joey picks up the sandwich]
- Joey Tribbiani: ...the greatest sandwich in the world!
- [Chandler is no longer angry; instead, he is amused]
- Chandler Bing: [smiles] So you didn't, uh, choose Ross before me.
- Joey Tribbiani: No! I would never do that! You-you're like my brother!
- Chandler Bing: [beaming] Really?
- Joey Tribbiani: Yeah! In fact, to prove how much you mean to me...
- [Joey unwraps the sandwich and offers it to Chandler]
- Joey Tribbiani: ...here.
- Chandler Bing: Thanks.
- [Chandler takes the sandwich]
- Joey Tribbiani: No, eh, oh-oi, easy, it's not a hot dog!
- [Chandler takes a bite]
- Joey Tribbiani: How good is that?
- Chandler Bing: [with his mouthful] Oh-oi-ho, yeah!
- Joey Tribbiani: See?
- Chandler Bing: Hm-hmm.
- [Chandler is about to take another bite]
- Joey Tribbiani: Oh-whoa-hey, dude, what are you doing?
- Chandler Bing: I thought you were showing me how much you mean to me.
- Joey Tribbiani: Yeah. With a bite!
- [Joey takes the sandwich back]
- Joey Tribbiani: Gee-e-e-eez!
- Chandler Bing: [after Ross got demoted from riding shotgun with Gary] Look at Officer Ross riding in the back with the visitors.
- Joey: Yeah, what's up with that, Serpico?