George Lopez credited as playing...
George Lopez
- Angie Lopez: You've been tough, I've been forgiving, we've gone into massive debt to get Carmen into the right school, we've stayed up half the night with Max helping him with his learning disorder.
- George Lopez: It's not enough. Last year Max waited up for Santa, this year he and his friends are going to wait on the roof and jack his sleigh. And God only knows what Carmen's going to do with the elves.
- George Lopez: We've talked about this before, maybe it's the city. Maybe we should move.
- Angie Lopez: George, I'm not leaving the city.
- Benny: [runs up] Hey guys, there's a high speed chase about to pass by the house. Let's go cheer on the carjacker!
- Angie Lopez: I'll miss your mom, let's get the hell out of here.
- George Lopez: You know, if we move, this will be the last car chase we see... I'll get the lawn chairs, you get a bottle of wine.
- Benny: Uh, Ward, June, I hate to interrupt one parental failure with another but... the Beav's been arrested at the mall.
- George Lopez: What? What for?
- Benny: Oh they wouldn't tell me. He got in trouble with those skater punks. They're holding him down there.
- Heavyset Kid: [runs into the kitchen, takes a hit off his inhaler] Which way? Which way?
- George Lopez: [points to the living room, he runs out] The fruit in the bowl is fake!
- [to Angie]
- George Lopez: What am I saying? He's not going for the fruit!