Don Adams credited as playing...
Maxwell Smart
- Chief: The Beluvian prime minister is ready to resume his mission.
- Maxwell Smart: That's wonderful, chief. What *is* his mission?
- Chief: He's here to borrow 20 million dollars from our government. After what happened, we're lucky his country still wants to take our money.
- Doll Baby: What would be so terrible if they didn't?
- Maxwell Smart: I'm surprised at you, Doll Baby. If they didn't take our money, they'd have no reason to resent us. And if they didn't resent us, we would never really be sure they were our friends.
- Chief: Max, I don't know what I'm going to do about you. You bungle assignment after assignment.
- Maxwell Smart: I resent that, Chief.
- Chief: Do you deny it?
- Maxwell Smart: No, but I resent it.
- Prime Minister's Aide: Before they pushed me out one of them said 'fare thee well' and, eh 'get ye lost'.
- Maxwell Smart: 'Fare thee well' and 'get ye lost'. Well, that narrows it down, 99.
- # 99: To who?
- Maxwell Smart: Richard Burton or Laurence Olivier.
- Maxwell Smart: Listen, we got to talk to you.
- Prime Minister's Aide: Do you have an appointment?
- Maxwell Smart: An appointment? What are you talking about? You were just thrown out of a moving car, what happened?
- Prime Minister's Aide: I'm sorry, I cannot give out any information unless it is first approved by our press secretary.
- Maxwell Smart: Do you realize that you're dying?
- Prime Minister's Aide: I'm sorry, I cannot give you any information about that either.
- # 99: [Max and 99 burst into Dee Dee's diner on a motorcycle] Max, I thought you were never going to brake!
- Maxwell Smart: I didn't, I ran outta gas.
- Chief: This is the break we've been waiting for. The men we're looking for are the Purple Knights.
- Maxwell Smart: Of course, The Purple Knights! The Purple Knights, it's got to be The Purple Knights. It's so clear now. Who else could it be but the Purple Knights? Eh, one question, Chief...
- Chief, Maxwell Smart: Who are The Purple Knights?
- Maxwell Smart: [Max, while crawling on the floor gets knocked down by a sleeping Purple Knight lying on a table] They even sleep mean!
- Maxwell Smart: [Max is about to be drawn and quartered] I wouldn't be too sure about that because at this very moment, this entire area is being surrounded by a hundred highway patrolmen with Doberman pinschers.
- Brute: Like I don't dig, man.
- Maxwell Smart: Would you dig four deputies and a bloodhound?
- Brute: Still don't dig.
- Maxwell Smart: Then how 'bout a Boy Scout with rabies?
- Brute: You don't grab me baby. Well, see you in other parts man. And I do mean parts.