Lauren Graham credited as playing...
Lorelai Gilmore
- Lorelai: Okay, um, little tip: the whole stalking thing works infinitely better when you don't actually smash your face in the window.
- Luke Danes: I need to talk to you.
- Lorelai: Come inside.
- Luke Danes: No, she - Rory's in there!
- Lorelai: Since when are you scared of Rory? Cause seriously, Luke, I think you can take her.
- Luke Danes: I just need to tell you something. Can she hear us?
- Lorelai: Through the walls? No, I put some kryptonite in her waffles. We're good.
- Lane Kim: I am. I have decided to make this whole Seventh Day Adventist College experience a good one. I'm gonna look on the bright side, find the silver lining, and make myself some lemonade.
- Lorelai: Well, good for you.
- Rory: The campus looks pretty.
- Lorelai: Very pretty.
- Lane Kim: It's got two huge parks with gardens and lakes.
- Lorelai: Two parks.
- Lane Kim: One for boys and one for girls.
- Rory: Huh.
- Lane Kim: And you know, I had originally thought that this was gonna be a suffocating place with out of date rules and insane restrictions, but boy was I wrong. For example, curfew is up to 9:30. 9:45 if you're going for your Masters. Makeup will be permitted, as long as it identically matches your skin tone. And owning a Rolling Stones CD is no longer grounds for expulsion. You can work the demerits off in the campus clean-up crew.
- Lorelai: [still in disbelief] There's a separate park for boys?
- Lane Kim: [realizing] My life is over.
- Lorelai: [after seeing a brochure to Lane's college] Every kid in that brochure was awkward and panicked, it looked like the academy award audience during Michael Moore's speech.
- Lorelai: Tell me what college you finally landed on.
- Paris Geller: I didn't.
- Lorelai: Well, what's it between?
- Paris Geller: Princeton, Columbia, and Yale.
- Lorelai: Good choices.
- Paris Geller: I'm really not that interested in Columbia, but the thought of me going there horrifies my mother so I have to keep it in the mix, you know?
- Lorelai: Do I ever.
- Paris Geller: Princeton's a good school, but Jamie goes there.
- Lorelai: That's your boyfriend?
- Paris Geller: Yes. He goes there, and if I go there, it's going to look like I went there just to be with him. Suddenly I'm Felicity without the hair issues and I'm not terribly comfortable with that.
- Lorelai: But look at it like this - not going to a school you wanna go to just because your boyfriend is there is just as bad as going to a school you don't wanna go to just because your boyfriend isn't there.
- Lorelai: Okay, I'm sorry. I just, I finally realized that I can't do this anymore. I can't come back here anymore, I'm done.
- Rory: Well, I'm sorry. I never should've asked you to pick me up.
- Lorelai: It's okay. It's good, actually. Now I can stop feeling guilty for not talking to them. I can go back to the way things were before. We share a nose and that's it.
- Rory: [Lorelai stops the car at the red light] Oh, I can't believe you stopped.
- Lorelai: I can't believe you wanted me to go.
- Rory: There's no one around.
- Lorelai: Now no one's around, but the second I run that light, a police car, four helicopters, the Canadian mounties and the crew of Cops jump out of a dumpster and I'm toast.
- Rory: Paranoid.
- Lorelai: Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you, my friend.