Milo Ventimiglia credited as playing...
Jess Mariano
- Jess Mariano: Is Jimmy here?
- Sasha: Who are you?
- Jess Mariano: Jess
- Sasha: Jess who?
- Jess Mariano: ...Look, I just need to see Jimmy.
- Sasha: Hey, have you ever seen 'The Wizard of Oz'?
- Jess Mariano: Yeah...
- Sasha: Remember the part where Dorothy comes to the gates of the Emerald City and the munchkin tells her to go away and is about to slam the door in her face until she says she's the witches Dorothy and then the munchkin says, "Well that's a horse of a different color, come on in!"?
- Jess Mariano: Yeah...
- Sasha: Well I'm about to slam the door in your face unless you can come up with the ruby slippers.
- Jess Mariano: ...I'm his son.
- Sasha: ...Well that's a horse of a different color, come on in!
- Jimmy: I can't take you in, I can't raise you.
- Jess: Raise me? I'm 18, I'm raised! I can vote, I can be drafted, it's a little late to throw me a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles birthday party!
- Jimmy: I thought you didn't come here to bust my balls!
- Jess: I didn't.
- Jimmy: Well then put the bat down!
- Jess: I don't need a daddy, I just need a place to crash!
- Jimmy: Do you understand that it's only in the last five years I even started to put my life together? You don't want to be around me, I am a screw-up! That is my genetic code.
- Jess: Well the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree.
- Jimmy: Don't say that, you're young, you can do anything you want.
- Jess: A month, just let me stay a month!
- Jimmy: Are you listening? I have nothing to offer you, nothing!
- Jess: You have nothing? I have nothing! I have no place to go! I can't stay at Luke's, I can't stay in Stars Hollow, my mother's a wack job! I mean, you're saying you're this loser and what- you don't want to take me off this terrific path I'm headed down right now? I'm not graduating high school! I don't know what I'm gonna do with the rest of my life but something's telling me I better find out soon or I'm gonna be that guy out there on the boardwalk selling the hemp hats!