Lauren Graham credited as playing...
Lorelai Gilmore
- Emily Gilmore: Her lawyer knows we asked for this deposition. How do you think it's going to look when you refuse to testify for your own mother?
- Lorelai: Like it's none of my business.
- Emily Gilmore: Oh, and I'm sure the twelve rocket scientists they assemble as a jury of my peers will see it that way.
- Lorelai: Honestly, Mom, I doubt they'll be able to find twelve people in the state of Connecticut who haven't been fired by you.
- Sookie: Jackson's taken a lot of courses through the Learning Center, and he loves it. He took beekeeping -
- Lorelai: Jackson keeps bees?
- Sookie: No, it turned out he was allergic. One stung his lip and his whole head blew up to three times its normal size.
- Michel Gerard: Please tell me you have pictures?
- Emily Gilmore: [On the phone with her lawyer] Tomorrow morning is completely unacceptable. It's unacceptable because I'm paying you three hundred dollars an hour. So turn that little near-luxury car around, go back to your office, and fax me that libelous scrap of paper.
- Lorelai: Ask him if he can pick up some ice cream, too.
- Sookie: Joe and I worked together one summer up in the Berkshires.
- Joe Mastoni: Oh, God, we had a wild time that summer, didn't we?
- Lorelai: You had a wild time, huh? Do tell.
- Sookie: We'd all work fourteen hours straight, party 'til dawn, then pile in Joe's van and wake up in New Hampshire or Maine with just enough time to get back for the next shift.
- Joe Mastoni: We had a real interesting crew. Sookie, me, Feldman, Mellon, Bung...
- Lorelai: Bung?
- Sookie: He was the grill man. He had been up there for a couple years already, but Joe and I were both in prep.
- Lorelai: And I repeat; Bung?
- Alex Lesman: Don't look at me. I'm still wondering if Mellon's a man or a woman.
- Alex Lesman: We've got the business model planned out, there's a couple of prime locations we're interested in. The only thing left to do besides build the place is pick a name.
- Lorelai: Oh, little tip, don't choose anything cute.
- Sookie: Like Jitters.
- Lorelai: Or Spill the Beans.
- Sookie: Or Higher Ground.
- Lorelai: Or The Mudhouse.
- Alex Lesman: Actually, I kinda like that.
- Lorelai: Oh, me too. We call dibs.
- Alex Lesman: I thought you were opening an inn.
- Lorelai: Well, we wanna keep our options open.
- Emily Gilmore: That was our lawyer, calling to inform me that one of our former maids is suing for wrongful dismissal.
- Lorelai: Hmm
- Emily Gilmore: You might at least act surprised.
- Lorelai: It's not the first time, is it?
- Emily Gilmore: It most certainly is!
- Lorelai: Really?
- Emily Gilmore: Yes, really!
- Lorelai: Well, then I'm surprised!