Scott Patterson credited as playing...
Luke Danes
- Luke: You know what, to hell with this. To hell with this!
- Lorelai: Luke, now come on.
- Luke: I can't deal with this anymore!
- Lorelai: Well, it has to be dealt with.
- Luke: No, it doesn't. It's not as if he deserves my help or my respect.
- Lorelai: The man was your uncle.
- Luke: He was a jerk!
- Lorelai: Don't say that.
- Luke: No, no, Taylor and the guys were right. I was cutting Louie slack out of respect for my dad, but the man was rotten and mean and selfish all his life. For God's sake, he's even selfish in death. Other people would've loved to have had those baseball cards. I would've loved to have those baseball cards. He's got Lou Gehrig's rookie card, Joe DiMaggio, Willie Mays, tons of others - but no! My uncle, King Tut, has to take all of them to the afterlife with him!
- the Mortuary Worker: Sir, your voice.
- Luke: I'm done, I've had it. From now on, it's just the bare minimum and that's it. Dig a big hole and just dump the casket in unlatched. If stuff falls out, fine. Just pile on enough dirt and make sure nothing's showing!
- [leaves]
- Lorelai: I'm assuming that wouldn't be appropriate either?
- the Mortuary Worker: No.
- Lorelai: I didn't think so.