Lauren Graham credited as playing...
Lorelai Gilmore
- Lorelai: We cannot have this mouse running around the inn, customers will freak!
- Michel: Tell them it's a baby, people love babies, they'll talk to it in funny voices.
- Lorelai: Did you call an exterminator?
- Michel: Why,no, what a wonderful idea! I was actually going to fasten a large wedge of cheese to my head and lay on the ground until Mickey gets hungry and decides to crawl out and snack on my face!
- Lorelai Gilmore: Are you okay?
- Kirk Gleason: My mother has developed a knee condition. It makes her knees enormous. Yesterday I spent all morning cutting holes in her pants so she could sit. But other than that, and the dyspeptic parrot problem, everything is fine.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Mom, what the hell are you doing calling Christopher?
- Emily Gilmore: Well, somebody had to.
- Lorelai Gilmore: No, somebody didn't have to!
- Emily Gilmore: Oh, I certainly wasn't going to just sit by and watch this situation explode. You two belong together. It took you years to figure that out, and now that you finally have it, you can't let it go away just because of a little complication.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Mom, his girlfriend is pregnant. That is more than a little complication.
- Emily Gilmore: Women have gotten pregnant since the beginning of time, Lorelai.
- Lorelai Gilmore: And before I result to the totally called for duh, please tell me what your point it.
- Emily Gilmore: This woman is trying to trap him. Don't you see that? You can't let that happen.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Mom, this is none of your business!
- Emily Gilmore: Yes it is! It affects Rory, it affects you. both of whom are my business.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Do not get involved in this, I mean it. Butt out! Don't call Christopher and talk about me or us, just stay out of it!
- Emily Gilmore: Where are you going?
- Lorelai Gilmore: I have to get back to the inn.
- Emily Gilmore: Do not walk out on me.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Mom, I am not gonna discuss this with you now or ever. I would love for you to respect that but I know you, so give Christopher my love.
- Emily Gilmore: A family life doesn't just happen, Lorelai. You have to work for it. You have to fight for it. Lorelai, come back here!
- Christopher Hayden: This isn't right. She needs her father.
- Lorelai: [Frustrated] I know she needs her father. I've been telling her she needs her father, but she feels like her father bailed on her and she's mad and hurt, and I can't change that in 3 minutes.
- Christopher Hayden: Do you think I like this situation?
- Lorelai: Oh, God.
- Christopher Hayden: Do you? I mean after what you and I had going in now?
- Lorelai: Chris, do you remember why we're here right now? What event in your life caused this very pleasant moment we're sharing?
- Christopher Hayden: That has nothing to do with this.
- Lorelai: [Very frustrated] Chris, man. What do you want from me?
- Christopher Hayden: I want to talk!
- Lorelai: About what?
- Christopher Hayden: I don't know. I just--- I don't like how things are.
- Lorelai: But that's how they are.
- Christopher Hayden: I didn't want things to turn out this way.
- Lorelai: But they did turn out this way.
- Christopher Hayden: But I didn't want that!
- Lorelai: Christopher, is Sherry still pregnant?
- Christopher Hayden: Of course she is.
- Lorelai: Are you still with her?
- Christopher Hayden: Yes.
- Lorelai: Are you gonna marry her?
- Christopher Hayden: ... Yes.
- Lorelai: Then, honey, we are where we are. Accept it.
- Christopher Hayden: I can't.
- Lorelai: Do you understand that I can't talk to you, because it hurts talking to you! It really hurts! Standing here right now is killing me, okay? Don't you understand that?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Don't you understand that i can't talk to you, because it hurts. talking to you really hurts! Standing here right now is killing me, okay? Don't you understand that?
- Lorelai Gilmore: [Discussing a mouse at the Inn:] Did you call an exterminator?
- Michel: Why no... What a wonderful idea. I was actually going to fasten a wedge of cheese to my head and lay on the ground until Mickey gets hungry and decides to crawl out and snack on my face.
- Christopher Hayden: [Unexpectedly shows up at Emily's house unannounced] Lor, I need to talk to you.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Chris, what are you doing here?
- Christopher Hayden: You won't return my calls!
- Lorelai Gilmore: [to Emily] Did you do this?
- Christopher Hayden: I needed to be here.
- Emily Gilmore: I did not do this.
- Christopher Hayden: You gave me no choice.
- Lorelai Gilmore: [to Emily] After I told you to just stay out of it?
- Emily Gilmore: [Swearing] Lorelai, I did not do this!
- Lorelai Gilmore: You got to go.
- Christopher Hayden: I'm not going until you talk to me.
- Emily Gilmore: Christopher, Lorelai, come back here!
- Christopher Hayden: Why won't you call me back?
- Lorelai Gilmore: There could've been a worst time to have this conversation.
- Christopher Hayden: Really, because this seems to be the only time to have this conversation.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Look, go home, okay? I promise I'll talk to you tomorrow.
- Christopher Hayden: Well, sure, I believe that.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I never lie to you. There's no reason to doubt my word.
- Christopher Hayden: Really, 45 unreturned phone calls isn't a reason?
- Lorelai Gilmore: No, it isn't.
- Christopher Hayden: You shutting me out like this is wrong.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I'm not discussing this with you here in my mother's house.
- Christopher Hayden: You don't get to dictate this. I need to talk to you, you won't call me back, and I did what I had to do, and I'm sorry, but after all we've been through, especially over these past few months, you shutting me out is wrong. And you know what hits me the hardest, Lor?
- Lorelai Gilmore: Apparently it isn't the door on your way out.
- Christopher Hayden: You keeping Rory from me.
- Lorelai Gilmore: What?
- Christopher Hayden: I never ever saw you do that.
- Lorelai Gilmore: I'm not keeping Rory from you!
- Christopher Hayden: Oh really? Then why didn't she call me back, huh? I mean no matter where you and I have been in our lives, my daughter has always called me back until now.
- Rory Gilmore: I didn't call you back because I didn't want to. Me? Mom had nothing to do with it. You promised me. You promised me at Sookie's wedding that this was going to work, that you're going to be there. You promised me.
- Christopher Hayden: Honey, please understand.
- Rory Gilmore: No, I always understand. And I don't want to understand. I even really don't want to talk about this right now. I've got mom, that's all I need. Go be somebody else's dad.
- Christopher Hayden: Don't say that.
- Rory Gilmore: I'm going upstairs. Call me when he's gone.
- [Runs upstairs]
- Christopher Hayden: She did not get there by herself.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Hey, have you ever met your daughter? She can get anywhere by herself. She can get into the third dimension by herself. She was helping the crossing guard when she was 4.
- Christopher Hayden: I'm going to talk to her.
- Lorelai Gilmore: No, you're not. She wants to be alone and cool off. Respect that! I'll talk to her later.
- Christopher Hayden: You'll talk to her? Great, that makes me feel a whole lot better.
- Lorelai Gilmore: Ok, you need to leave, right now!