Estelle Getty credited as playing...
Sophia Petrillo
- Blanche Devereaux: ...there was a time in my life when I tried quittin' somethin'.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Blanche, you don't mean...
- Blanche Devereaux: Sex, Dorothy. I tried quittin' sex.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Obviously you fell off the wagon.
- Sophia Petrillo: And onto a naval base.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [Rose is realizing she may be hooked on her medication] Honey, there's a place for people with this kind of problem.
- Sophia Petrillo: Please, what is she gonna do in the NBA?
- Blanche Devereaux: Rose, let us call a rehabilitation center for you.
- Rose Nylund: No, I don't need one of those places. I can't go to one of those places. I'd be too ashamed. I'd be too embarrassed.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: What is there to be ashamed of? You have a medical problem. Was Betty Ford embarrassed? Was... was Liza Minnelli embarrassed?
- Sophia Petrillo: She should have been. Did you see "Arthur 2"?
- Sophia Petrillo: Phyllis Gluckman is giving me a ride to my acting lesson. If I'm gonna be in a commercial, I want to be good.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Ma, what are you talking about? The commercial is off.
- Sophia Petrillo: No it isn't. I got the director to change his mind.
- Blanche Devereaux: Then he's comin' back here to shoot the commercial?
- Sophia Petrillo: No, he doesn't want to get anywhere near Rose. He's gonna shoot it at his studio.
- Blanche Devereaux: But if he shoots it at his studio, then I get screwed and have nothing to show for it.
- Sophia Petrillo: Welcome to show business.
- Sophia Petrillo: [Referring to Dorothy slurping a milkshake from the blender] Is it any wonder I never breast-fed her!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [Dorothy is skeptical about Sophia's claim that she's been asked to be in a pizza-store commercial] OK, OK, Ma, where are you going to shoot this commercial?
- Sophia Petrillo: Well, we discussed many exotic, uh, locations, and we settled on... right here!
- Blanche Devereaux: Oh, now hold on here. I don't want a TV crew comin' in here, messin' up my kitchen, settin' up all that video equipment.
- Rose Nylund: Well, how about shooting it in your bedroom, Blanche? The equipment's already set up there.
- Sophia Petrillo: My memory's not as good as it used to be. Nothing on me is as good as it used to be. Once upon a time, I had a butt you could bounce a quarter on. Now you could lose a Krugerrand in the creases.