Betty White credited as playing...
Rose Nylund
- Dorothy Zbornak: [Sophia enters the kitchen carrying a letter] Oh, hi, Ma.
- Sophia Petrillo: Listen to this, "If I were truly free, O fire of my loins, I'd take you to a paradise in the sun where we could lie naked, bronze body against pearl body, locked together in a frenzy of love.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Ma, who wrote that?
- Sophia Petrillo: Merrill Kellog.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Merrill Kell... Who's he?
- Sophia Petrillo: Ask Blanche. It's her letter.
- Dorothy Zbornak: [snatches the letter from Sophia] This is from that guy in prison that Blanche has been writing to.
- Rose Nylund: How are you going to explain this opened letter to Blanche?
- Sophia Petrillo: [taking the letter back from Dorothy] Don't worry. I'll take care of it.
- Blanche Deveraux: [entering the kitchen] Good morning girls.
- Sophia Petrillo: Good morning, Blanche. Rose opened your letter
- [hands it to Blanche and leaves]
- Rose Nylund: Blanche, I didn't!
- Blanche Deveraux: Oh, it's no problem, honey. It's just another one of those letters form Merrill. I would read it to you anyway. They're not personal.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Not personal! The man says he wants to lie naked with you on a beach.
- Blanche Deveraux: Well, sure. And I wrote him I want to make passionate love to him in a hammock suspended between two Magnolia trees. You know that couldn't possibly happen!
- Rose Nylund: Well, maybe if you lose a few pounds.
- Blanche Deveraux: [obviously miffed] Shut up, Rose.
- Rose Nylund: Back in St Olaf, our justice system is very progressive. Their motto was, "Use a gun, go apologize".
- Dorothy Zbornak: [the Girls are discussing natural childbirth classes] I wish I had known about them when I was pregnant. I didn't know what to do, except scream at Stan never to touch me again and call him every name in the book.
- Rose Nylund: Rough labor?
- Dorothy Zbornak: Rough conception.