Betty White credited as playing...
Rose Nylund
- Blanche Devereaux: Sophia, why are you up?
- Sophia Petrillo: Same reason you're up.
- Blanche Devereaux: You're filled with anxiety?
- Sophia Petrillo: I'm old.
- Blanche Devereaux: I'm not old.
- Sophia Petrillo: Oh, forgive me. I'm supposed to support your vain, narcissistic fantasy that you're still in your 40's.
- Blanche Devereaux: It's either that or a big rent raise.
- Rose Nylund: Hi, you guys. What are you doing up?
- Blanche Devereaux: Sophia's old and I'm filled with anxiety.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Then I stood up at the podium and I said 'my name is Dorothy and I have a gambling problem'. When I left Gamblers' Anonymous 15 years ago I thought I'd never have to say those words again.
- Rose Nylund: Let's hope this time they can cure you.
- Dorothy Zbornak: You're never really cured, you just have to learn to just take one day at a time.
- Rose Nylund: Well of course you have to take one day at a time Dorothy, if you took them two at a time you'd be constantly changing your underwear.
- Sophia Petrillo: Go ahead, stand up and say 'my name is Rose and I'm an idiot'.
- Rose Nylund: Blanche, you can't stay home from work forever. Can't you just swallow your pride?
- Sophia Petrillo: There's no room for it. She just scarfed down a bag of Chips Ahoy!
- Blanche Devereaux: Why are you insulting me?
- Sophia Petrillo: It's a defense mechanism. I guess it's to hide my feelings when I'm deeply upset.
- Blanche Devereaux: Oh, well I understand. In that case, I won't take it personally.
- Sophia Petrillo: Thanks, you human mattress.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Rose, I need money, fast, and I'm up to my limit at the automated teller.
- Rose Nylund: Is this about the phone call you just received?
- Dorothy Zbornak: The phone call? Yes, it was the paper boy, I forgot to pay him last week.
- Rose Nylund: How much do you need?
- Dorothy Zbornak: $250.
- Rose Nylund: Isn't that a lot of money for the paper boy?
- Dorothy Zbornak: Rose, the truth is that I need the money so my mother can have an operation.
- Rose Nylund: Oh my God, Sophia needs surgery?
- Dorothy Zbornak: Not really surgery, she's just going to get her face done.
- Rose Nylund: How's she getting it done?
- Dorothy Zbornak: South Western, Rose!