Estelle Getty credited as playing...
Sophia Petrillo
- Sophia Petrillo: [enters the living room dressed as Sonny Bono] Well, Rose, do I look like the mayor of Palm Springs?
- Rose Nylund: Doug Henning is the mayor of Palm Springs?
- Sophia Petrillo: Just play the music, Rose.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [Sophia and Dorothy come home after the Shady Pines mother-daughter beauty pageant] The big news is, we beat Gladys Goldfine, right, Ma?
- Sophia Petrillo: Ahh, it was a hollow victory. Time has taken its toll on Gladys. She's not the fierce competitor she once was.
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Y'know, for the talent section, she was supposed to do a medley from The Fantasticks. She started with "Try to Remember" and... she couldn't.
- [Blanche has entered the living room and seen Dorothy and Sophia dressed as Sonny & Cher]
- Blanche Devereaux: Oh for goodness sakes! Why you two could be celebrity lookalikes!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: [flattered] Oh, Blanche, you really think so?
- Blanche Devereaux: Well absolutely! So which one's Cheech and which one's Chong?
- Sophia Petrillo: I'm Sonny Bono, you idiot!
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: Gee, I wonder how many maître d's have heard that line?
- Sophia Petrillo: [patronizing] Pussycat, when's the last time I told you you were beautiful?
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: June first, 1949.
- [she waits for the reaction]
- Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak: At my wedding.
- Sophia Petrillo: Oh, well, that's because pregnant women have that special glow.
- Sophia Petrillo: How many challenges do I have left in life? Seeing if I can get more than half-way across the street before the "Don't Walk" sign comes on... trying to stay awake on the john... hoping it *is* the john...