Estelle Getty credited as playing...
Sophia Petrillo
- Dorothy Zbornak: [Blanche and Rose are just coming home] How did the auditions go?
- Rose: Great. Oh, you should have tried out, Dorothy. Everybody was really stinky. You might have gotten a part this year.
- Blanche Devereaux: Rose, don't be silly. Dorothy couldn't get a part. We're doing the award-winning musical "Cats". You have to be agile, graceful, and sensual.
- Dorothy Zbornak: You're right, Blanche. I mean, how could I possibly compete with you? I mean, you've given some of your best performances in back alleys.
- Blanche Devereaux: Dorothy Zbornak, I resent that remark. Have you been talkin' to Ed Tyler? That man has *such* a big mouth. Which reminds me. I oughta go give him a call.
- Stanley Zbornak: [later, after Sophia is injured by a fly ball at the baseball game, Stan comes by to check on her] I just came from the hospital. They told me Sophia was discharged. Is she here?
- Dorothy Zbornak: No, I haven't taken her out of the trunk of the car yet.
- Stanley Zbornak: Oh, there you are, Sophia. Are you OK?
- Sophia Petrillo: Hey, I just spent two days in the hospital, naked under a sheet, with strange men inspecting my body with cold, metal instruments.
- Blanche Devereaux: Which reminds me, has Ed Tyler returned my call?
- Stanley Zbornak: [after Sophia is hit by a fly ball at a baseball game, Stan starts scheming] What would you say if I told you I have come up with a great way to make some fast money for us, and all you have to do is lie on your back?
- Sophia Petrillo: I'd say you're about fifty years too late on that one.
- Stanley Zbornak: I'm talking about a lawsuit. If we can show that you're severely injured, we can sue the ball club and the ball park for a lot of money.
- Sophia Petrillo: I'm not severely injured.
- Stanley Zbornak: Well, yeah, you can fake it. I have a good doctor friend who will back you up.
- Sophia Petrillo: I'm appalled. Shocked. Disgusted. How much money are we talkin' about?
- Dorothy Zbornak: Hi, Ma. Whatcha doin'?
- Sophia Petrillo: Just lookin' through the old photo album. Boy, you were a cute kid.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Yeah, I was sorta cute. Oh, look, there I am at seven.
- Sophia Petrillo: An angel.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Here I am at eleven.
- Sophia Petrillo: Adorable.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Ahh, look, here I am at fifteen.
- Sophia Petrillo: The beginning of the end.