Betty White credited as playing...
Rose Nylund
- Blanche Devereaux: Woe is me, woe, oh, woe is me.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Problem, Blanche?
- Blanche Devereaux: Yes. It's my hair. It has split ends, it's dull and listless, it makes my face look...
- [she pauses to think]
- Dorothy Zbornak: Its age?
- Blanche Devereaux: If you're gonna make fun of somebody, make fun of Rose.
- [Rose looks up from her work at the kitchen table with a "why me?, what did I do?" look]
- Blanche Devereaux: I need the professional care of the most talented hairdresser in Miami, Robaire. Oh, he's brilliant. Do you know he was the first one ever to use mousse?
- Rose Nylund: I'd check my facts if I were you, Blanche. Mr Ingrid of St Olaf has been using moose ever since I can remember. Of course, it's his own professional secret which part of the moose he uses.
- Rose Nylund: Sophia, Dorothy, how'd it go at the doctor's?
- Dorothy Zbornak: It was great! He said that Ma's memory problem could be related to a nutritional imbalance, so he put her on a special diet, and if she follows it, she'll be fine from here on out.
- Sophia Petrillo: [not sharing Dorothy's optimism] Oh, lucky me. I can remember from now on. My whole past is gone. I could have slept with JFK, and don't even know it.
- Dorothy Zbornak: [trying hard not to laugh] Ma, I don't think so. You're not mentioned in any of the books.
- Blanche Devereaux: [in a low, sultry voice] Well, that doesn't necessarily mean anything.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Ma, come on now. I mean, he also said that there are things that you can do that might bring back some of what you've lost. I mean, we could talk about the good old days, reminisce with old friends. Honey, you have to look on the bright side.
- Sophia Petrillo: I've had a lifetime of bright sides. I'll just have to learn to do without them.
- [she leaves]
- Dorothy Zbornak: Oh, dammit. I hate watching what this is doing to her.
- Blanche Devereaux: I hate watching what it's doin' to you.
- Rose Nylund: I hate watching those FBI warnings at the beginning of video rentals.