Estelle Getty credited as playing...
Sophia Petrillo
- Magda: [Stan's cousin from communist Czechoslovakia is visiting] Such a beautiful home! Who sleeps with government official?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Oh, that would be my friend, Blanche... And this is my mother, Sophia Petrillo.
- Sophia Petrillo: [skeptical] So, you're Stan's cousin.
- Magda: Please don't hold it against me.
- Sophia Petrillo: She's OK.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Sit down, sit down. Tell me, where's Stan? Is he parking the car?
- Magda: I take taxi. Stanley and I have disagreement.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Oh, what about?
- Magda: He saw himself as human being, I disagreed.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: I would kill my sister if she ever wrote about my sex life.
- Sophia Petrillo: You would kill your sister over a pamphlet?
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: [talking about sisters] When I was a little girl I had this doll, Mrs. Dolittle, and Gloria was not supposed to touch...
- Sophia Petrillo: Do we have to hear that damn Mrs. Dolittle story again? So your sister broke your doll, it was over 50 years ago.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: It was very traumatic. It was my favorite doll.
- Rose Nylund: I have a sister story...
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: And she didn't just break it, she fixed it so the eyes would never close again. She made Mrs. Doolittle look like a morphine addict!
- Sophia Petrillo: If you need me I'll be in the bitter children of celebrities section.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: Don't get lost.
- Rose Nylund: [Stan's communist cousin is making Rose uncomfortable] This is terrible. I was raised to *hate* communists. I remember in the early '50s, when McCarthy came to St Olaf to speak in the town square. I was never so moved by a public speaker, although some people thought he was a puppet for the Right Wing. No, wait, that was Charlie McCarthy.
- Dorothy Petrillo Zbornak: I'd have put money on that.
- Rose Nylund: But still, St Olaf's town motto was, 'Better Ned than Red'. Ned was sort of the town idiot.
- Sophia Petrillo: When, on your days off?