Richard Briers credited as playing...
Tom Good
- [first lines]
- Tom: [reading a birthday card] "Mozart and Mendelssohn were dead by 40, why aren't you?" How thoughtful.
- Tom: What do you think?
- Barbara: I need to think.
- Tom: Garden?
- Barbara: Yes.
- Tom: [fetches wellies] Right. Left. Coat.
- Barbara: Coat.
- [leaves to pace in the garden]
- Tom: Piece of cake?
- Barbara: No thank you.
- [continues pacing]
- Barbara: Do you want to sell up and buy a small holding in the country to do this?
- Tom: No, this isn't meant to be the full going back to nature thing, besides we love this house too much to sell it.
- Barbara: Self-sufficiency in Surbiton.
- Tom: Yes, I know it'll make the avenue look a bit odd.
- Barbara: No no.
- [continues pacing]
- Barbara: I couldn't kill chickens.
- Tom: Alright, I'll chop their heads off with my black and decker while you're not looking.
- Barbara: [continues pacing] What happens when we need new clothes?
- Tom: I'll have made the loom by then. With the wool from the goat.
- Barbara: No no.
- [finishes pacing]
- Tom: Well? Well?
- Barbara: You're on.
- Tom: What?
- Barbara: We'll do it.
- Tom: Now, have you thought about this?
- Barbara: What do you think I've been doing? Taking my wellies for a walk?
- Tom: When I get a birthday card from my wife, I expect a loving, sickly verse. Not "Another nail in your coffin you old wreck!"
- Margo: [sitting in bed while Jerry stares out the window] What is it? What's going on?
- Jerry: The Goods. They're dancing in their goldfish pond.
- Margo: Ask them why?
- Jerry: I hadn't thought of that. Why?
- Barbara: Celebrating.
- Jerry: Your birthday was yesterday.
- Tom: No. We're celebrating we found out how to beat it!
- Margo: What's he saying?
- Jerry: Margo, if you're so damned interested, why don't you get out of bed yourself and have a look?
- Tom: [to Jerry] So if I unleash all this dynamite I'm carrying around i'd be up in seventh heaven on the old sixth floor too, would I?
- Tom: [to Barbara] In four years time, Brian and all the whizz kids will be up on the fifth floor, and where will I be? Doing a Mr. Chips with a lot of infants.