Nicholas Lyndhurst credited as playing...
Gary
- [first lines]
- Gary: Hi.
- Yvonne: Hi.
- Gary: I thought I'd do kidneys for supper.
- Yvonne: What? Why?
- Gary: Oh, I don't know. I just saw these lamb kidneys in the butcher's windows and a little voice in my head went "yum".
- Yvonne: Well, a little voice in my stomach just went "yuck". You know I don't like kidneys.
- Gary: I didn't know you don't like kidneys. We've never had kidneys.
- Yvonne: Yes, that's why.
- Gary: If I knew you didn't like kidneys, would I have bought kidneys?
- Yvonne: You know you might unconsciously be punishing me.
- Gary: For what?
- Yvonne: For making you do the cooking.
- Gary: You don't make me do the cooking; I like doing the cooking. It was my suggestion, if you recall, that we share that particular chore.
- Yvonne: Perhaps, but subliminally your male ego was feeling threatened, and so you offer me this extraordinarily symbolic meal to say: "Look, you are unmanning me."
- Gary: You been sunbathing without a hat again? What do you mean, symbolic?
- Yvonne: Well, kidneys look like testicles, right? And you offer them to me on a plate, metaphorically saying: "Here is my manhood. Now are you satisfied?"
- Gary: [pause] How about a cheese omelette?
- [last lines]
- Yvonne: They should have given you the job. You were the best man, even if you have got crap dress sense.
- Gary: You mean that? About the job?
- Yvonne: Of course I mean it. I love you, Gary.
- Gary: Despite my crap dress sense?
- Yvonne: I prefer you without your clothes on, actually. Oh, come on, Gary; let's go and do what you do best.
- Gary: Yvonne, I'm not putting up a satellite dish at this time of night.
- Yvonne: That's better.