The Bad News Ghouls/House of No Tomorrow

Master Control: [monitor activates] I am Master Control, computer of the future.

Billy: Aaahh!

[jumps on Grim's arms]

Grim: That'd better be sweat dripping down your leg, boy.

Master Control: I am programmed to run all of the machines at this attraction. My intelligence is beyond measure, I know everything there is to know, and I'm not too shabby at checkers.

Grim: Wait, how can you know *everything*?

Master Control: I just do, so there.

Grim: If you know everything, then what's the meaning of life?

Master Control: Life has no meaning, only machine intelligence is truly important on a cosmic scale.

Grim: Hmm, I didn't think he'd get that one right.

Billy: Oh, yeah? Then what's my favorite color?

Master Control: Blue.

Billy: What's the best kind of bean?

Master Control: Pinto.

Billy: Why is the sky blue?

Master Control: Because of the refraction of sunlight through the water droplets in the sky.

Billy: Why do I ask so many questions?

Master Control: Because you're stupid!

Billy: What's the color of my underwear?

Master Control: White...

[raises an eyebrow]

Master Control: ...with pink frilly lace.

Billy: [checks in his pants] Wow. It really does know everything.