Ron Howard credited as playing...
Richie Cunningham
- Ralph Malph: Why are you reading a dumb textbook in the closet?
- Richie Cunningham: Ralph, it's a book about the inner workings of the human mind.
- Ralph Malph: You mean like daydreaming. I always daydream about Rhoda Lasky and me on a desert island.
- Richie Cunningham: Ralph, it tells about mental illness and the phobias that infect the mind.
- Ralph Malph: Rich, you're talking very strange.
- Richie Cunningham: That's right, because I am strange.
- Ralph Malph: You weren't strange this morning.
- Richie Cunningham: That's because I didn't know any better. It's all down here in black and white. You know how I'm afraid to talk to strange girls? Well, it's in here. I daydream a lot. It's in here. I fantasize all the time. I pretend I'm Mickey Mantle. It's all in here. Do you want to know why I was in the closet?
- Ralph Malph: I don't think so, Rich.
- Richie Cunningham: I was checking to see if I have claustrophobia, and do you know, I was very uncomfortable in there.
- Ralph Malph: Maybe you've got a fear of coats. Maybe you're afraid of the dark. Are you afraid of the dark?
- Richie Cunningham: I don't know. I always sleep with the light on. This book has illuminated the dark recesses of my mind, and I see a lot of trouble in there. Ralph, what would you say if I told you I was thinking of seeing a psychiatrist?
- Ralph Malph: You're nuts.
- Richie Cunningham: That's what I've been trying to tell you!