Erin Moran credited as playing...
Joanie Cunningham
- Joanie Cunningham: Fonz!
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Yeah what?
- Joanie Cunningham: If I don't smoke, the Magnets will dump me.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Let me plant 2 things in your brain. You're my favorite shortcake, and number two, if you don't stop smoking, your BODY is gonna dump you, and I'm crazy about you.
- Joanie Cunningham: Fonzie.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Hey what's shaking, shortcake?
- Joanie Cunningham: Well this is the first time you've seen my room. How come?
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Well I thought I'd be a neighbor, you know, real friendly like and just passing down the corridor thought I'd stop and say hello.
- [looks at her posters]
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Hey Elvis, the #2 Elvis, that's even better. Bobby Darin, splish splah... ARE YOU NUTSO SMOKING?
- Joanie Cunningham: Alright, Fonzie, I am done with the lectures.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Hey, the Fonz don't lecture. I'm just gonna ask you one simple question and then LISTEN! You really like to smoke?
- Joanie Cunningham: Yeah, there's nothing like a good ciggy, you know, light up with friends, relax, a few laughs,
- [haughty laugh]
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: A couple more of those and your nose is gonna grow.
- Joanie Cunningham: It's the Magnets, they're the most popular club at Jefferson.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Who do you think made them so popular?
- Joanie Cunningham: Well, I'm in with the Magnets, and most of them smoke, so...
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: And you're afraid if you don't they're gonna dump you and call ya chicken.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [to Joanie] Let me tell you something. The HARDEST THING TO DO is to do what YOU want to do. You know what a breeze it is to join the crowd and be led around by your nose? You ain't nobody, until you do what YOU want to do.
- Joanie Cunningham: But I wanna be in this club.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Well I'll put it another way. SMOKING AIN'T COOL!
- Joanie Cunningham: The Magnets are cool!
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: My humility usually don't permit me to ask this particular question, WHO is the coolest of cool?
- Joanie Cunningham: Well you are.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Yeah that's true. Now, if the Fonz don't smoke, what does that tell you about smoking?
- Joanie Cunningham: That the Fonz doesn't smoke, but some of the cool kids do.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: [grabs her stuffed lizard] You gonna give up smoking or not?
- Joanie Cunningham: Well, I don't know, Fonzie.
- Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli: Alright, end of convo.
- [walks out]