Martin Milner credited as playing...
Officer Pete Malloy
- Officer Jim Reed: Anyway, this dog wanders into the backyard all dirty, foxtails and burrs in her coat. So Jean says, "don't feed her, and she'll go away." So, I don't feed her, and she doesn't go away. And a couple of days, she's looking pretty good like she's had a bath and she's eating regularly. Now who do you think was feeding her?
- Officer Pete Malloy: The Green Phantom.
- Officer Jim Reed: Yeah, the Green Phantom: that hard-hearted wife of mine. Anyhow, that's how come we got Queenie... and eight puppies.
- Officer Jim Reed: [after a long silence] Seriously, Malloy...
- Officer Pete Malloy: Seriously, what?
- Officer Jim Reed: No really, you oughta...
- Officer Pete Malloy: Really, I oughta what?
- Officer Jim Reed: Ah, come on, quit acting like I was about to ask you to take a puppy.
- Officer Pete Malloy: Did I say you were about to ask me to take a puppy?
- Officer Jim Reed: [resigned] No.
- Officer Pete Malloy: Then don't say I said it until I say it... are you about to ask me to take a puppy?
- Officer Jim Reed: Yes.
- Officer Pete Malloy: No, I will not take a puppy.
- Officer Jim Reed: What's the matter with you... you hate dogs?
- Officer Pete Malloy: No, but in the first place I live in an apartment, and in the second place, I'm a bachelor.
- Officer Jim Reed: That's the very reason you oughta have one. You're alone too much of the time. I mean, you go home at night and there's nothing there but four, cold walls. Emptiness and silence.
- Officer Pete Malloy: *Peace* and *quiet*!
- Officer Jim Reed: You're fighting me, Malloy.
- Officer Pete Malloy: Listen, you meatball. What am I going to do with a puppy? Lock it up in an empty apartment all the time I'm workin'?
- Officer Jim Reed: Nah, you can leave it over at our place and pick it up every night when you get off work.
- Officer Pete Malloy: Reed, you're out of your mind.
- Officer Jim Reed: Don't try to make me feel bad - just say no.
- Officer Pete Malloy: [emphatically] No!
- Officer Jim Reed: Oh, don't say no. Say you'll think about it.
- [Malloy and Reed have been talking about ways for Reed to find homes for his eight newborn puppies]
- Officer Jim Reed: Malloy?
- Officer Pete Malloy: [emphatically] No!
- Officer Jim Reed: What do you mean 'no'?
- Officer Pete Malloy: No, I will not take a puppy.
- Officer Jim Reed: Did I ask you? Huh, did I ask you to take a puppy?
- Officer Pete Malloy: [casually] No.
- Officer Jim Reed: Well, don't say no until I ask ya.