Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host
- [introduction]
- Alfred Hitchcock: [wearing a chef's hat and holding two ladles crossed over his chest] Good evening. Tonight we offer you a generous portion of mystery, a pinch of comedy, just a soupcon of a commercial, all seasoned by a few irrelevant comments from your host. As you may know, food is a hobby of mine. I don't claim to be an expert cook, but I am rather a good eater. If you will wander into my kitchen, I'll allow you to watch me as I concoct some delicacy to tempt your palate.
- [camera follows him to what looks like a science lab]
- Alfred Hitchcock: I cannot abide careless cookery.
- [puts down the ladles and opens a cookbook]
- Alfred Hitchcock: Let me see. I've, uh, I've just added 10 cc's of sugar. All that is left is to add the white of one egg.
- [puts aside cookbook]
- Alfred Hitchcock: And by the white, I do not refer to the clear gelatinous substance inside. Naturally, I mean the shell.
- [starts transferring broken half-shells into a mortar and pestle]
- Alfred Hitchcock: This is where most amateur cooks make their mistakes. While you are waiting for me to finish, I suggest you turn your attention to tonight's story. It is called "Conversation Over a Corpse." It sounds like perfect dinner conversation.
- [afterword]
- Alfred Hitchcock: [Hitchcock is wearing his chef's hat again, standing in the kitchen-lab] She was no sissy. As a matter of fact, that was her downfall. She wanted to steady her nerves before the police came, so she took a few slugs. Very sad.
- [Hitchcock shrugs slightly]
- Alfred Hitchcock: Except for the newspapers who detected a love triangle. The picture papers had a more fun than at a hanging. Well, so much for tonight's cooking demonstration.
- [takes off chef's hat and holds it closed]
- Alfred Hitchcock: I hope I've made everything clear. Next time, I shall show you how to prepare an exotic delicacy. White hunter à la Mau Mau. You'll be the talk of your neighborhood. I shall also reveal one of my own culinary secrets, how to remove the wrapper from a frozen food package without tearing the directions. Good night.