Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host • Alfred the Stand-In
- [opening narration]
- Hitchcock's Stand-In: [Chewing gum, Hitchcock's stand-in looks like a college kid with a light-coloured jacket, white shirt, checkered bow tie, slicked back hair, and an American drawl] Hiya.
- [holds up a finger briefly]
- Hitchcock's Stand-In: I'm not Hitchcock. I'm Alfred, his stand-in. Someone has to stand here while the lights and the cameras are adjusted and all that stuff, see? And the old boy just don't have the time. I got the job 'cause I look like him. That's what they say, but not to my face.
- [looks off-camera briefly and nods in that direction]
- Hitchcock's Stand-In: I see they're rolling him in. You suppose I'll look like that when I'm his age?
- Alfred Hitchcock: [the real Hitchcock walks into frame] That will be all, Alfred.
- Hitchcock's Stand-In: Arrivederci, daddy-O.
- [Hitchcock's stand-n saunters off after an exaggerated bow]
- Alfred Hitchcock: Cheeky fellow, isn't he? Unfortunately, he may soon be more than a stand-in. We are planning to send out a second company to tour the provinces, and Alfred will play my part. Which brings us to tonight's thrilling shocker. It is called "Jonathan."
- [afterword]
- Alfred Hitchcock: [the real Hitchcock speaks] Those of you who like to see nasty people receive their comeuppance, will be delighted with the results of tonight's tale. Gil took his story to the police, and he and Rosine were promptly punished. She for murder and he for intent to murder. There is, however, a brighter side to all this. Both have become model prisoners. This concludes tonight's divertissement. But please remained tuned to this channel. I am not familiar with the program which follows, nor the one after that. But I have seen the story we are presenting next time, and I think it's worth waiting for. Good night.