Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host
- [introduction]
- Self - Host: Good evening. Before we begin our play, I would like to demonstrate the training method we use here at the Hitchcock Actor's Studio. You see, we give the students symbols or certain images to assist them in portraying character. Because of the type of character our Miss Schmells was to portray, we suggested that she think of herself as a tree.
- [walks up to Miss Schmells portraying a tree]
- Self - Host: I think she projected very well. Thank you, Miss Schmells. Our next student, Mr. Blackwood, was asked to portray a large, jolly captain of industry and, to help him, we suggested that he think of himself as an elephant.
- [walks up to Mr. Blackwood, actually an elephant]
- Self - Host: Excellent. In all honesty, I must admit that Mr. Blackwood has been with us longer than Miss Schmells. And now, after this brief acting demonstration, we bring you tonight's story preceded by tonight's commercial. Thank you, Mr. Blackwood
- [Mr. Blackwood doesn't move]
- Self - Host: That will be all, Mr. Blackwood.
- [still no movement]
- Self - Host: I said that will be all, Mr. Blackwood!
- [the elephant remains]
- Self - Host: Mr. Blackwood!
- [afterword - Mr. Blackwood still hasn't moved]
- Self - Host: Mr. Blackwood. Mr. Blackwood. This is most upsetting, especially to Miss Schmells. He had a date to take her to dinner after class. Perhaps you should give me another minute. Mr. Blackwood.
- [commercial]
- Self - Host: Next week, we shall be back with another story. As for this incident, I have become philosophical about it. After all, we may have lost a student, but we have gained a mascot. Good night.