Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host
- [introduction - Hitchcock is on the prisoners' side of the visiting section in a jail]
- Self - Host: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. And why did it take you so long to get here? I've been sitting here for 10 minutes. I don't know why everything is so heavily guarded. Even if I could get through this screen, I couldn't escape without breaking your picture tube. All this is to illustrate to you that while the television viewer's lot may be difficult, the performer's is even worse. Only one half hour visit a week and, in between, nothing but work. Then, of course, my associates aren't the best. Singers, comedians, news analysts and the like. But perhaps we should have our play before I reduce all of you to tears.
- [afterword]
- Self - Host: I have a theory which would account for the immense popularity of revenge. Revenge is sweet without being fattening.
- [a siren wails]
- Self - Host: I see the guard is signaling that our time is up. I hope you will visit me again next time. Until then, good night.