Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host
- [introduction]
- Self - Host: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Do you find it tiresome waiting for cement to dry before dropping it in the river? If so, you'll be interested in our new prefabricated body disposal units.
- [walks to a pair of giant concrete blocks]
- Self - Host: At first glance, this might appear to be a concrete telephone booth. It is far more useful. The body is placed in here. The two sides are bolted together, it is taken to the edge of the dock and then...
- [makes pushing motion]
- Self - Host: All very neat and tidy. You ladies will love it. No more messy mixing and pouring of concrete. No more complicated and expensive equipment. No more telltale cement on the soles of your shoes. For details, please consult your friendly neighborhood hood. Now for a 60-second consultation with our sponsor. Definitely not a hood, this man's record is spotless. After all, boring people to death is not yet a criminal offense.
- [afterword - Hitchcock has a mannequin standing in a concrete block]
- Self - Host: I know the more cynical of our audience will object to the unabashed sentimentality of our story's conclusion. But I'm sure most of you enjoy seeing a loving family together once more under one roof. I shall return to discuss this after the following.
- [commercial]
- Self - Host: Now I must show you our economy size, the only difference being that the victim must be allowed to stiffen so that he can stand erect. Then his feet are placed in here and the concrete pieces bolted together. If you don't wish to be splashed, you just aim the gentleman toward the end of the dock. And...
- [nudges the mannequin with his foot]
- Self - Host: Roller skates. We think of everything. Until next week, good night.