Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host
- [introduction - Hitchcock walks up to a piano]
- Self - Host: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Before I begin tonight's concert, I would like to explain the structure of a symphony. All symphonies are composed of two parts: sounds and silences. It is very important that you know the difference between the two. Perhaps I should give you an example.
- [sits at the piano]
- Self - Host: This is sound.
- [begins to play the piano, but the note he strikes is muted, so he gets up and finds a body in the piano]
- Self - Host: Good heavens, I don't like this a bit. I was told I would be the only one on the program.
- [grabs the arm]
- Self - Host: He's as stiff as a board. He must have been here some time.
- [uses the arm to hold open the top of the piano]
- Self - Host: To continue our little chat about musical appreciation, for example of sounds, I know nothing better than the next 60 seconds.
- [afterword - Hitchcock is sitting at a different piano]
- Self - Host: You have probably been wondering about our friend in the other piano. Rather than disturb him, we simply buried him in his piano. It was rather moving, really. Like going down with one's ship. And now I shall play the Minute Waltz.
- [prepares to play as we go to commercial, after which Hitchcock finishes]
- Self - Host: That was the fastest I ever played it. I suppose you've noticed that this piano has only one pedal. Because of my speed, I had to put in an automatic transmission. Next week, I shall be back with more music and further explanatory comments. Until then, good night.