Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host
- [afterword]
- Self - Host: I don't think he played that quite fairly. Do you? Some people will cheat, tell fibs, do anything, in fact, in order to kill someone. I don't approve at all. It gives murder a very bad name. But I can assure you he won't try that again. At the next house he broke into, they were more hospitable. It belonged to the sheriff.
- [takes another can off the shelf and opens it to hear another woman screaming]
- Self - Host: Oh, this is from the section of quick-frozen screams. They have to thaw out. A number of people have been asking where we obtained these canned screams, gasps, et cetera. They are, of course, authentic audience reaction recorded at a comedy show. I don't believe it's on the air any longer.
- [takes another can off the shelf and opens it to hear a group scream]
- Self - Host: Good heavens! They forgot to remove the audience. Next time, I shall return with another story laced together by my impertinent remarks. Until then, good night.
- [introduction - Hitchcock is standing in front of a shelf of cans with other cans in front of him]
- Self - Host: Good evening and thank you for your kind attention, eratic though it may be. You have, of course, heard of canned laughter, the hollow recorded laughter which accompanies some comedy shows. Naturally, since this program is entirely serious in nature, we have never resorted to this means of audience stimulation. However, I have just been shipped a number of cans of fresh audience sounds which may be useful.
- [takes a can off the shelf, opens it to hear a woman screaming and puts it back]
- Self - Host: Most of these cans contain screams. There are some filled with shudders. And some of them hold whimpers and gasps. Just now, we do not intend to use these recordings. This is merely a warning. If you fail to react to our stories at the emotional level we feel they deserve, we'll turn these sounds loose. So much for blackmail. Now for our story.