Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host
- [introduction - Hitchcock is in a steam cabinet]
- Self - Host: Good evening, friends.
- [the steam cabinet hisses]
- Self - Host: And critics. Welcome to "Alfred Hitchcock Presents". I say this for those of you who may be under the impression you have tuned in to a production of Salome, with me playing John the Baptist.
- [the steam cabinet hisses again]
- Self - Host: I'm sure you are wondering why I, of all people, would be in a steam cabinet. Actually, I'm having my suit pressed and was too modest to remove it.
- [the steam cabinet hisses more times followed by the sound of a train chugging and whistling]
- Self - Host: We had to hurry that a little. You see, there's a certain party who wishes to press his suit, a matter he will attend to at once.
- [afterword - Hitchcock is still in the steam cabinet]
- Self - Host: I can't seem to get out of here. The certain party I mentioned a short time ago locked me in and is now selling three baseballs for a dime to passers-by. I'm not sure what he has in mind, but I don't like the way they're looking at me.
- [baseballs are thrown at him]
- Self - Host: Fortunately, we had already planned to inject something at this time that may save my life, a more inviting target. Here it comes now, after which I shall try to rejoin you.
- [commercial, after which Hitchcock has gotten out of the steam cabinet]
- Self - Host: As you see, I managed to escape. Next week, we shall be back with another story. Until then --
- [the steam cabinet hisses again followed by the train chugging and whistling, then Hitchcock waves the steam away and takes something out]
- Self - Host: Plum pudding. Good night.