Alfred Hitchcock credited as playing...
Self - Host
- [first lines]
- Himself - Host: [Alfred Hitchcock loads one bullet into a revolver and spins the cylinder. He aims the gun off stage left while holding it up to his ear and pulls the trigger - click. He spins the barrel again, and pulls the trigger - click. He shrugs] That's precisely why I don't care for Russian roulette. I never seem to win. There are two revolvers, such as this, which play a part in tonight's story. It is what you might call a Western, although there isn't a horse to be seen. We intended to get horses, but they couldn't remember the lines. So you'll be seeing people instead. The cast is a very small one and threatens to become smaller with every passing moment. You see, two of the characters have threatened to eliminate each other on sight. Now, I am sure there are some of you who don't want to see them do that. So, I suggest instead that you listen to our sponsor's message.
- [last lines]
- Himself - Host: That was disappointing, wasn't it? Still, you will be happy to learn that both Del and Red did die eventually. That very day, in fact. Food poisoning. Maggie's heart was in the right place. She just wasn't a very good cook. And now, let us hear a word or two from our sponsor. A word or two, or three, or four, five, six, seven...
- [fade to commercial]
- Himself - Host: 511, 512, 513.
- [nods to someone offstage]
- Himself - Host: Thank you, sir.