Jill Ritchie credited as playing...
Jessie
- Jessie Bowers: [to George Michael] Daddy lost his shot at happy, and it's all your fault, Opie.
- Narrator: Jessie had gone too far, and she had best watch her mouth.
- Jessie Bowers: [George Sr. has just become a devout Jew] Your father is religious now?
- Michael: Yeah.
- Jessie Bowers: We'll play that up, it's very sympathetic.
- Lucille: Yeah, who doesn't love the Jews?
- George Michael Bluth: You know, I have a job.
- Tobias Fünke: [coughing] Kiss ass... well we were all thinking it.
- Buster: Uh, I'm unclear about what it is exactly you do...
- Jessie Bowers: Excellent question, what a publicist does is...
- Buster: No, no, no I was talking to George Michael. When did you get a job?
- George Michael Bluth: At the banana stand.
- Buster: Oh! Duh! I thought you meant like a plumber or something and I was like 'when did that happen?'
- Lindsay Bluth Fünke: [reading the article] "Lindsay's a combative, entitled princess"? I should hire someone to kick your ass for that!
- Michael: Save your money.
- Lindsay Bluth Fünke: You're right, I'll do it myself.
- Michael: We're through. I don't want my son reading any more articles in the paper about us.
- Jessie Bowers: Oh your son, stop using him as an excuse for everything you do. I told him that he was getting in the way of your happiness.
- Michael: You said that to my son? You're on your own. Ladies...
- [a riot breaks out in the restaurant]
- Gob Bluth: I'm sorry. Isn't Michael the least likable one in the family?
- Jessie: No. There are very few intelligent, attractive, and straight men in this town.
- Tobias Fünke: Well, that certainly leaves me out.
- [the family stares at him]
- Tobias Fünke: She... She said single. You did say single, correct? I thought l...