Max Gail credited as playing...
Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz
- [Wojo is putting the store payroll in the safe]
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: [looking at safe] What's the combination on this thing? I forgot it again.
- Det. Sgt. Nick Yemana: One to the left, two to the right, three to the left, four to the right.
- Det. Phil Fish: That's the way to do the Varsity Drag.
- Det. Phil Fish: Put it over there on the desk
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Hey Barney, wait till you see what we got here. Siegel's Department store hasn't been able to make a deposit for a week, so they asked us to keep their receipts -- keep till morning. I said okay. Is it okay ?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Wojciehowicz, we're working on a half-shift. We can't baby-sit somebody's payroll
- Det. Phil Fish: An employee told us that they secretly heard they we're being set-up for a rip-off. They'd like to avoid trouble.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: I have never seen so much money in my life. Take a look.
- Capt. Barney Miller: How much is in there ?
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Two hundred sixteen thousand four hundred and eighty odd dollars
- Capt. Barney Miller: Eighty odd. Aren't you sure ?
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Well, when your loaded. What's a few bucks more or less ?
- Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: That is more. Less is what I take home every week
- Capt. Barney Miller: Somebody put it in the safe ?
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: I got it. I signed for it.
- Capt. Barney Miller: All right. Then, It's your responsibility but get at it. We got a lot of work to do.
- Capt. Barney Miller: All right, you counted it, what's the problem.
- Gross - Accountant from Siegel's: There's exactly $5000 missing
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: $5000, that's impossible
- Capt. Barney Miller: Maybe you ought to count it again
- Gross - Accountant from Siegel's: I've counted it three times. That right, Pete ?
- Pete: That's correct. I've counted it too. It's a bundle short.
- Capt. Barney Miller: Fish. Count it. Harris, you watch Fish
- Gross - Accountant from Siegel's: Pete, you watch Harris
- Capt. Barney Miller: There was a lot of excitement last night. The money could have been misplaced or gotten buried under this official litter
- Gross - Accountant from Siegel's: Have you ever misplaced $5000 before ?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Once, in a Monopoly game.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Barney, There is nothing in the safe but petty cash
- Gross - Accountant from Siegel's: Oh
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: $16
- Capt. Barney Miller: That's for two weeks
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Harris, you were standing right there, when I was putting it in the safe
- Det. Ron Harris: Hey, you wouldn't let me help you, remember. You said it was all yours
- Gross - Accountant from Siegel's: You said that ?
- Capt. Barney Miller: Figure of speech, Mr Gross. Detective Wojciehowicz probably felt personally responsible for the money.
- Gross - Accountant from Siegel's: He is personally responsible for the money
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: You here that Harris !
- Det. Ron Harris: Hey, don't look at me. If I needed extra money, I'd do windows.
- Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: I got an interesting question.
- Det. Stan 'Wojo' Wojciehowicz: Yeah, what's that ?
- Det. Sgt. Chano Amenguale: Why would a flasher close the door to the bathroom ?